Splicing of Changes (Editing)

Chapter 20

Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes they need not be pre-planned. No date, day or time needed to be fixed for such things. And when they finally happen, you should let it as much as it scares the living shit out of you.

Just like the talk between Tori and me. It's been sixteen hours and twenty-five minutes since I first found the letters and finished reading all of them for the first time. Since last night around midnight when I ran out of the guest room in search of Tori, in search of answers. Only not really seeing things through the blurry vision of tears and falling down. To be honest I do not remember what happened after that but I know I somehow ended up on Tori and Liz's bedroom floor where I woke up this morning. Well, waking up requires actual sleeping. That did not happen hence I just layed there staring at the ceiling wondering how my life got this fucked up and how much of an idiot I was to not even realize it. Now, I am back to exactly where I 'woke up' this morning. Only this time it's just Tori and me in her room and Tori is on the floor too. She brought me here after lunch I presume. But lunch was hours ago, so I am not sure anymore. Time is not my strong point today except to count how long it's been since I first read the letters.

"Kris, you cannot stay like this, we got to talk." Tori's voice floats in, alerting me somewhere in the bubble of despair that I am lost in. I tilt my head to the side, not being able to form words yet. "Kris, come on." I still can't say anything yet.

"Yes, I wrote letters to you after..." Tori trails off.

"Tori, please say it. I want to know. After you left, which I know is not true anymore. You said you were kicked out. What do you mean Tori? I have to know." I tell her in a weird slow voice.

Tori breathes in deeply before taking my hands in her and holding it. "Kris. I love you. I have never not loved you. You are my little sister. And I do not want what I am about to tell you to change your views about our parents."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. It's changed already. Just tell me, Tori." I pleaded with her.

"You know Liz is my wife." I nod, frowning, I tilt my head.

"Yes and how is that related?"

"Kris, she is my wife now. She used to be my girlfriend. My first girlfriend, my best friend." Tori tells me. I nod.

"I knew Liz was your best friend, Tori."

"Yeah well she was but then she became my girlfriend when I realized that I was in love with her. Turns out she was too. Good cause otherwise it would have been a disaster." Tori chuckles as I continue to see her expressionless. "So, soon after confessing our love for one another, we realized that we are gay. It was not easy coming to that conclusion because of all the internal homophobia. Coming out to ourselves was hard and I thought that was the hardest it's going to be for a while." Tori scoffs. "How naive was I? Anyways. Shortly after that, we started dating. It was good, Dad did not like me spending so much time with someone who would not... you know help and all. You know how Dad was." I nod.

"Yeah. It's all about his business. Always. So?" I ask, urging Tori to continue.

"Well, when I did not stop, Dad had me followed, just to see what we did. And somehow he found out about well... us. He confronted me. And me being in love, told him as much. When I declared my feelings for Liz to him I did not realize that I came out to him without even meaning to. At first, he just slapped me and forbade me to see Liz. First, the reasonings were that she would not be good for business, then it was about she does not have any connections. Then he started proposing dates to me. I was angry, sad, and irritated but did not realize that he hated me because I was gay. Not because I love Liz. When he pushed me to talk on this first arranged date, it was with a guy. He did not say anything and I did not go through with the date. Instead, I ran to Liz and spent the night at her house. That's when all hell broke loose. Next day Dad rained hell on me that if I did not go out with a guy he chose, I could go to hell." Tori wipes her eyes. This time I squeeze Tori's hand as she gives me a wet smile.