Splicing of Changes (Editing)

Chapter 43

A/N: Please read my note at the end of the chapter.  And Heads up for the chapter. 

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It's been days. Or maybe weeks, or maybe it's been a month since Silver's funeral. I am not sure. The concept of time is like an illusion right now. One moment I think I am in a loop reliving some things from my past with Maize, the accident and everything. Then next moment I realize that's just my memory. But seconds later I am reminded my reality is not that awesome right now either. I don't know why but I am pretty sure I am trapped in my head now.

Our group is now...well for the lack of a better word, broken. June and Jake are constantly together. That makes Alice sit with us. Alice is sad all the time. And I think its partially because she lost Silver and partially because she lost her best friend, her cousin June to her boyfriend as she stopped talking to Alice. June has not talked to anyone of us since that Wednesday in the school's parking lot when we found out about Silver. Strange right. I have seen her cry from time to time and Jake help her. I have also seen Jake trying to hold it together for June's sake and I think Alice talking to Jake sometimes is helping Jake. I don't know, their dynamic is very weird right now.

Then there is us, as in Jeff, Danny and me. Well technically Lee and Alice are included too but not really. Lee is here except she talks to Olivia on the phone a lot and both of them visit each other whenever they want. Thus, the three of us are left to our own devices. That is not good let me point it out. Because there is Danny, who lost his best friend and is a wreck, then Jeff who has been silent since everything and then there is me, and I am pretty sure I am trapped in my own memories most of the time. Thus, not a good combination. Alice just sits near us from time to time during lunch, else we all wonder around aimlessly.

As for the hangout, yeah, we don't go there anymore. The last time we all went there was on the evening of Silver's funeral to honor our friend Silver. Mark, Amy and Diane were in town that evening as well as Olivia and Mackenzie. It was just for Silver, after that I have gone there once or twice, I think Jeff did too. I know Lee was there because she was the one who found me every time I hid at the hangout. But everyone else no idea. I am sure Danny has not been. He is concerning me a little right now though. He is drunk most times or high. He goes to class but sleeps, never answers anything anymore. Jeff is silent and teachers are respecting it. But Danny is a whole other case. Oh, and June bursts out crying in the middle of the class sometimes.

As for school, we were given a week of mandatory counselling for everyone except us. We were given a month long since we were Silver's friends. Strangely Mattie was not allowed to be our counsellor. I guess it made sense, but I would have felt much more comfortable if it was him. And I think most of my friends agree. I know Danny does as he once told me he is not talking to this other guy. It's just odd now walking in the hallways. For class and homework, yeah, it's going good, I would like to say. I mean I am studying every night. I have loads of homework almost every day. Plus, things related to colleges are coming near. I am not sure though. I just can't think of college right now. Somehow, I think my friends agree with my sentiment. Is it bad if I say we need time? Time from school, study and just be sad.

Yeah, that sounds weird. Even I think so. I guess that's why our teachers are pushing all of us to do our work and keep up with our classes. I can say I am up to speed, but I don't think I can tell what classes I am taking. That doesn't make sense, right? Also, spending time with Danny who is well never sober is not good. But Jeff, Danny and I are always together nowadays almost. I feel like it is my responsibility to help Danny and I think he hates me for being by his side all the time. Although he has not said anything regarding that but then again, we don't really talk, we just be together, if that makes any sense.