Fading

Chapter 1

My eyes shot up at him, his mouth on hers. He's my fiancé, not hers. My heart still aches at the sight, even if he does that every day. I don't even know him anymore.

We used to be madly in love, but after he put a ring on my finger it all died out. Almost like a rose fading. The first time I saw him with another, I couldn't stop crying. I truly did love him so much it almost was improbable.

If I could go back in time and change my answer, I would. I wish to god I'd never said yes to him. He locked me up in here as if I were a prisoner. I hate him more than anything. No I truly despise him and nothing could make me change my mind.

I sometimes imagine what would happen- how he would react if I.. If I just went a kissed another man like he kisses another woman. I have no idea for what his feelings are regarding me. I don't truly know if I would wish to know them at all. But wouldn't it be marvelous? A part of me is longing for that moment. But I suppose that I don't dare and I haven't find someone that I would be pleased with kissing. I would never in a million years kiss Frank.

Frank is a nice man, but I just simply don't fancy him. He's to become a lord, but even with his money to become, I wouldn't want him. Not the slightest.

I stand up straight and walk off. I can stand it but it isn't my favorite thing to watch. I rather would watch something that pleases me. Watching my fiancé kiss someone else is not something I would say I burn for. I like to read, to get away. Whenever I read I get out of my head. My thoughts aren't on my life. For a while I'm feeling normal- okay, like I did before I met my soon to be husband.

I go into my room and go up to my window. There's not a single cloud out in the sky at this hour. It rarely aren't any clouds in the sky, but today there aren't any. Is that a sign? That today might be different. Everyday now plays out the exact same way.

I suddenly hear a knock on my door. That's already a change. Since normally they only knock when it's dinner time.

"Come in!" I shout at whoever is at the door.

The door opens and I look back at who it is, it's my maid. She pushes her curly brown hair away from her face and looks up at me.

"Ma'am, your husband would like to speak with you- should I let him in?" She says with such a haste.

"He's not my husband and god I wish he'll never become my husband." I sighed "Let the bastard in"

She quickly nod and goes out of my room. A second later the door opens again.

"Why did you walk away?" Says my fiancé his voice clinging through the room.

"Because I didn't like to be there" I answer not turning to look at him.

"Why is that?" He asks. His blonde hair drops down and gett in the way for his is, he doesn't bother to push the hair away.

"Because I'm disgusted by you" I confessed. He looks at me and it's almost like he's dying of fury.

"I'm your husband for god's sake!" He shouts at me full in rage.

"You are not my husband nor will you ever become!" I hiss.

He stumbles "W-what?"

"I won't do it! I will not marry you" I exclaim. I take my my hand up to my head and shake my head.

"Do you think that you have a say in that?" He asks. I take my hand away from my head and lift my head up so that I'm looking at him.

"Yes, I'm a woman, I'm a human, I have an equal voice compared to you- so yes, I do think I have a say in that"

"A woman, god! Who the hell do you think you are!?"

"I'm who I've always been, your enemy" His enemy, I used to be his lover, but that's all in the old dust. I have no feelings but hate and pity for him. Pity because he lost the best person ever and he'll never get her back. Not in a million years. Even if they were the last persons alive on this planet, she would never love him.

The same she, hears his voice, cutting her off from her thoughts; "When did you stop loving me?"

"Well, long ago now" I confessed.

"Why?"

"Why?" I repeated his words, how could he be so foolish and naive? "Do you honestly not know? Maybe you cheating on me and making love to other women freshes up your dusty mind"

"How dare you?"

"How dare I what?"

"You are mine!

I don't respond at first I paused my thought and looked at him. Instead other thoughts came into my head.

"You aren't drunk" I exclaim.

"What?"

"You aren't drunk– the fist time you kissed another you were so drunk" He looks down ashamed almost like he though I didn't know "God– Now you're sober, isn't that worse?"

"Adriana–"

"No! Shut up Theodore! You have not the slightest right to speak! I despise you!"

"Let's forget about it all and get married, I won't kiss someone other than you I promise"

"How can you promise a thing that you won't keep?" I ask him.

"Let's get married!" He shouts at me, avoiding my question lingering.

"I won't marry you"

"Yes you will" he replied.

"If I must, I will say no" I confessed.

"Then I'll have to make you love me again, I adore you Adriana" I know that he only speaks this way to me since he wants to marry me. But I know that whenever we marry he'll go back to being this way and I'll have no escape once he is my husband I'll be trapped.

"I don't want-"

"Remember that you need to marry me, you wanted to marry me for love. You don't love me you claim. I will always love you, I've done a few mistakes but that doesn't say that I don't love you. You need me, you won't find a richer man than me"

"You know I'll never have your heart again, so what's the use?" I look right into his eyes. I spot a flash of emotions. I think that he is slightly ashamed over himself, he stopped loving me. One day I was his everything, the next day I was no one.

"You were my first love, you know I'll always love you"

"You might love me but you aren't in love with me!"

"I-I" He can't seem to find his words.

So I ask "Why did you stop–" I look at him he looks at me and I add the last words to the sentence "Loving me?"

"I... I don't know.. At first when I kissed another I was drunk and wanted to have fun with time you became more distant so I always went to other girls"

"I became distant because I saw you! I saw you kiss another girl! It hurted me so bad!" I shout at him.

He turns away from me for a second and then with pain in his eyes he start to beg. "I'm going to try to become the man you fell in love with, give me one last chance, please my dear!" He begged.

I will never love that man again. But I doubt that I'll ever find a better life so my answer is clear.

"Then so be it"