Only Human

1

I failed to slow down my racing heart as I walked down the cracked sidewalks of a strange town called Red Creek. I no longer carried the burden of bright orange jumpsuits and white runners... I never found the comfort of being locked away like some did. The stale air and constant buzzing of bright fluorescent lights was relentless. I fumbled through my backpack, searching through things I haven't seen in six months.

Cash, iPod, ah, there they are... Cigarettes.

I puffed on one of the long white sticks, pulling the flame of my lighter straight into the end. The tobacco burst into a bright red cherry as I sucked in the smoke, filling my mouth, traveling down my throat and into my lungs. I relished in the satisfaction of my first drag. I exhaled, watching the plume of white smoke pour out of my lips.

It's been a long six months.

I wondered what it was like for other inmates, who had family or anyone to come visit them, or call them on the phone. I wondered what it would have been like to walk out of that prison today and have someone waiting for me.

My mom is no doubt strung out somewhere. She basically gave me up to my grandma. The old woman is too close to death to get out of bed, and it makes me regret being the petty criminal I am. I wish I could see her again.

Red Creek was a town that I was just passing through, but after I got too drunk at some local club called The Black Swan I guess I resisted arrest for public intoxication and assaulted a police officer. It's all a blur to me.

The realization that I was alone in life hit me hard. The thrill of my nicotine rush suddenly dulled. They say you should never return to the scene of a crime, but I couldn't stop my feet from bringing me back to The Black Swan.

"Your banned." A large man in all black stood in front of the door. It was apparent that he was security.

My eyebrows pulled together as I shot a million daggers into the security guard's bald head. Fucking wonderful. Banned from the only bar in town. What's wrong with you Myah?

Reluctantly I retreated.

The isles of the grocery store blended together in my search for the liquor aisle. I never was a wine drinker and real liquor was too much for tonight. I just needed to unwind a bit. I settled with some hard cider. I wasn't an alcoholic, at least that's what I liked to tell myself.

"ID." The old hag at the checkout rolled her eyes as she scanned the cardboard box full of clinking bottles. I pursed my lips as I stared at her for a moment before digging through my bag and finding my ID.

She huffed as she looked over the small plastic card, handing it back to me seemingly unconvinced. It wasn't a fake, I was just fortunate to have a young complexion. I took my booze and drifted out of the grocer. Finding a hotel was the second most important objective on my list. The first, getting a buzz. I used my lighter and popped the top off a bottle, taking a swig and indulging in the sweet tang of cheap spiked cider. The parking lot of the grocer seemed to go on forever as I finished off my first bottle, placing it back in the box filling up the empty space.

After bottle two I felt the familiar warmth spreading through my body, the world seemingly lighter in weight. My legs continued to carry me to an unknown destination. I ended up on a park bench, looking out into the dark tree line, wondering how bad it would be if I just walked into the forest and never came out. Nobody would ever know, nobody would ever care. The thought brought weight back to my shoulders, erasing the floating feeling I once had. I drownd out the idea with more booze, not wanting to face the reality of loneliness.

I studied the playground, wondering what it would be like if I got to enjoy my childhood. Would I be a different person today? Or would I still be wandering alone with nobody, committing petty crime just to feel some type of exhilaration, some type of adrenaline or pain, just to try and drown it out again when it becomes too much. That's what I do, I run. I run when things get too complicated. That's what brought me here to Red Creek.

I was running from the law and from a group of messed-up people. They wanted me to hurt people and I couldn't bring myself to do that, not sober anyway. So they got me hooked on cocaine. I refused to take the drugs, but they held me at gunpoint. I took my first bump and I felt invincible. I felt like I could do anything and get away with it. So I did.

I did whatever they wanted me to so I could get another fix. Then one night I went too far. I did hurt someone. I didn't intend to but I had to hurt them before they could hurt me. I could hear the sirens as the police tried to chase me down. I hid in a garbage can until morning.

Then I got the hell out of dodge, dope sick and extremely tired. I slept the entire bus ride to Red Creek, then I got drunk at Black Swan and the rest of that night is a blur. Next thing I know I was being booked into Red Creek Correctional Facility for the next six months.

A rustling in the bushes snapped me out of my drunken daze. I focused in on the dark green leaves as they danced around, waiting for something sinister to jump out from beneath the lowest of the huge hanging branches. I sucked in a small breath as a chickadee jumped out. It scratched its tiny feet into the dirt, pecking at the ground.

"Fuck" I whispered to myself as I caught my breath. "It's just a fucking bird" I swallowed down the rest of my drink,  tipping my head back and letting the sweet nectar pour down my throat.

I tried to laugh away the worry that seemed to have worked its way inside my stomach. My laughing quickly turned to gasping as I felt arms snake around my body, a white cloth obscuring my vision. Purple dots filled my darkening vision as I fell into unconsciousness.

*Updates will not be regular, you may get two chapters in a day, you might wait a week for an update. Shit happens.

Some readers may want to know or be warned ahead of time: there are sensitive topics in this book, like abuse, drug addiction and crime.

There is also extremely detailed erotic chapters in which I will mark with (🔥) and a warning at the beginning of the chapter.

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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it.