Temptations and Allegations: A Tale of Jokes and Drugs

Little Bat~

It starts one night at the local strip club downtown. Batman has invested all his stonks and made a rather unsatisfactory gamble with the stonks man. He needs the extra cash but he doesn't want to pose as Bruce Wayne. He sighs as he pulls his cape over his head and walks out onto the stage. His theme song plays loudly over the speakers above. Ever since the incident he's sparkled (edward cullen reference). Little does he know that unseen in the crowd, the Joker himself stalks around the bar, unaware of Batman's presence on stage.

The Joker grabs his drink and turns around to examine the dancer on stage.

A Batman costume. Classic. The Joker sips his drink, only slightly interested–a woman to be cosplaying his foe seems quite a coincidence.

Wait...that's not a woman. His eyes widen, and suddenly his interest becomes all the more intense. Could it be...

His muscles strain through his tight black costume as they hoist him to the pole. The Joker can already tell there's sweat dripping from his brow.

They lock gazes.

The Joker's eyes are cool and collected.

The Batman's eyes darken, full of wrath...or something else.

And then it just happens. The Joker begins running up to the stage and grabbing Batman by his muscular waist. He can feel his muscles bulge underneath his fingers. He yells something unintelligible before he shoves a cloth of chloroform in his handsome face. His eyes close slowly after fighting his way to get away from him, his muscles straining to get away. As he drops to the floor, the Joker observes his limp, yet impressive body. Only his greatest enemy would look so good.

He slings his limp body over his shoulder and runs out the back door. He shoves him into his giant fucking red pickup truck complete with monster wheels.

He runs to the driver's seat and shoves the keys in the ignition.

He takes off, not caring about the speed limit–the only thing on his mind is the Batman's body; the way it moved on that pole, his muscles straining, his abs flexing and his biceps throbbing almost invitingly.

He turns on the radio.

"I'M A GUMMY BEAR

YES IM A GUMMY BEAR"

The Joker gives out a low growl and change the channel

MATERIAL GORL

I WANT CHANEL 9 BOOTS

Perfect. Things are moving slowly for the dastardly dashing clown.

Just then, he hears a moan from the back seat.

"What the hell?" Batman proclaims handsomely. His jawline is tight and hard as he accuses his captor.

The Joker turns his head to the handsome specimen

"morning luv," He purrs seductively. "Sleep well?"

The Batman shouts and tries to break the window.

Little does he know the Joker's made it so sexy bats like him can't break these windows–they are designed to capture them.

"Let me out!!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because, pretty boy," he purrs, "you'll hurt yourself. Why don't you stay here where you're all mine?"

Batman blushes underneath his mask.

"Let's see under that mask, pretty boy," he drawls on.

The Batman dodges the Joker's outreached hand as he makes an attempt to rip his mask from his face.