Tuesday, March 7th
3 hours of walking through the dead of night. 3 hours of attempting to will a painful erection away. 3 hours of scrambling through my pockets for either one of my fucking phones and figuring I left both of them. 3 hours of convincing myself I made the right choice. Those 3 hours are what lead me, at two in the morning, perched at the windowsill of Barb's bedroom. And, while I wouldn't throw rocks at her window because I'm not a barbarian, nobody could have stopped me from whamming at the solid surface like it personally offended me. Like it surprised me in its closet, lectured me about not being gay and then almost took my virginity on a drawer. But it's a window and it's glass and I have no reason to take out my frustration on it so I cease. As mentioned before, I'm not like those lovesick barbaric softies with their rocks. I pick, instead, some threadlike sticks found in the gutter and flick them against the window. Eventually, Barb awakens from her beauty sleep, almost rips off her silk sleep mask, flicks her lamp on and aggressively enough, drops to her knees in front of the window. She doesn't properly indicate me to stop but I can read in her glaring eyes that I better relinquish those sticks and fast. Barb slams the window open.
"Are you kidding me, Billy? What in the world are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
My arms strain. It's worth noting I'm clinging to a thick windowsill at the second floor, legs dangling off.
"Help me in, please," I plead and wheeze.
She grabs my shoulders more roughly than I would have liked. As I recover from being flung inside onto the ground, she fumes.
"You're a dead man, Billy Miller!"
I roll over onto my back, panting. I'm a bit better, utterly drained from walking for hours and getting lost as many times as I encountered an intersection. Still, I can feel the remains of Tavish's touch on me and the slight burn at my neck.
"Yeah, I feel that way too," I say, not too bothered.
She jabs me between the ribs with her toes. "You really are dressed like a thief."
"Eh," I let out. I almost say that I nearly got undressed like a thief as well but I doubt she's ready to be made aware of that. Later, surely. We'll get there.
"So do you have anything to say or you're just gonna sleep on my floor like a bum?" I hear her sit on her bed and bounce slightly.
I haul myself to my feet, drag her beanbag near the bed and flop down on it, legs crossed.
"You could've just called, you know?"
She says that as if she would have picked up anyway. Plus, I'm not sure why she assumes my operation was any successful. Something like overestimating me. I sigh.
"My phone, I don't have it."
She frowns. I shrug, hoping she can at least let that go.
"What about the burner?" she asks.
"It fell out of my pocket, I guess. Not sure when."
She nods slowly. I nod back. We just bathe in silence for a moment. I listen to the clock on her wall as it ticks. I feel sorry for ruining her sleep. I console myself with the thought that I won't get much sleep either and that we therefore share a similar fate.
"I walked to get back," I add, although it doesn't make it better.
"Couldn't you have asked one of the McCloud for a ride? Blair knows who you are, no?" She seems tired of me, yet she isn't dismissive. I admire her for that, trying to spare my feelings.
"Not after what happened, no..."
Worry darken her eyes at the edges. Her mouth thins.
"I spoke to Tavish," I explain.
VOUS LISEZ
In the Closet (boy x boy)
Roman d'amourBilly Miller is not gay. He's not even sure he's anything at all because he doesn't like people. But that's alright. His parents, his fish and his clingy neighbor he can't quite get rid of since middle school are enough for him. For now. --- Billy i...
