In the Closet (boy x boy)

14. Shiver Me Timbers

Saturday, April 8th
I force myself to read the email all over again in its entirety.

William Miller,

That's really me, I observe with pique. They didn't get it wrong. What a shame.

Thank you for your interest in Brendon High School's clubs. Your application for the position of Volunteering Helper for our Weightlifting Club has been accepted and confirmed. We found real devotion in your letter and are eager to work with you. The coach, Seamus McCloud, will contact you shortly with more details regarding your tasks.

What interest? They misspelled "utter disinterest". What application? How was it confirmed without me ever showing my face? Devotion? I can't believe Tavish would write a letter on my behalf. I surely hope Seamus forgets to contact me and forgets I ever, allegedly, applied.

The Weightlifting Club holds practice sessions on Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday. The members are not expected to attend all sessions but are to monthly attend a minimum of six. If the quota isn't met, a member misses a competition without proper authorization (refer to the next section) or a confirmed member resigns, there is a risk of permanent write-up in their documentation. We remind you, confirmation is demanded four weeks after the application is accepted to allow members room to resign. This procedure is to ensure a steady environment for the competing members.

I huff. I see Aqua peer curiously. So not only did Tavish string me into this, he purposely provided no way out. I can't risk a write-up, there's no way. I think he's aware of that. Plus, I'm expected to attend sessions. Six per month. A repetitive waste of time. I can't spare so much of my free time for a pretty mention on my college application that I didn't even want in the first place. The weightlifting members are, to Tavish's image, brutes. They'll gobble me up in a minute. This email, this ordeal, is a death sentence.

The next and last competition of this year is on the Monday May 1st and Tuesday May 2nd. All members are to attend the trip, paid by the Confederation of Academics and Weightlifting (C.A.W). They will be excused for their absence in class if and only if they attend.

Despair wracks me. The zoo inauguration is on May 2nd. I can't miss it. I can't just screw years of work and learning and collaboration and finding myself and bonding and learning to love how I am through experiences. I can't screw my everything just because Tavish McCloud wants me to. Aqua notices my state.

"You didn't... actually apply to the club, did you?"

I slowly shake my head. My cheeks are hot, my eyes sting a bit. A wisp of fresh air betters me a bit. She grants me compassionate eyes.

"Tavish... can be a handful. Being friends with him isn't easy, or so I've heard."

Friends, huh. We're far from friends. All we do is either fight or fuck. There's no in between. No availability for peace anywhere. We're the opposite of friends, our relationship is the opposite of platonic. It's not affectionate because we loathe each other with a passion. It's not non-sexual because it is sexual. But I won't tell her any of that.

"What about being his cousin?" I ask to avoid any potential inquiries on my "friendship" with Tavish.

"Ha. Very easy as long as there's Seamus around to scold him." She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"I can imagine."

She motions to the email to ease me back on the matter. "I can't say why exactly he would do that. But I think the both of you would be better off talking it through." I divert my attention, imagining his face crunching against my fist. I don't intend on being so merciful. I have my methods to solve this. "He might seem a bit harsh but he mostly means well whether he admits it or not."