August - (Under Editing)

7. Augustine

For the hope of it all...

"Augustine, wake up. C'mon, you gotta get up."

I groaned, swatting at whatever was trying to wake me. I stretched my arms over my head when my right hand hit something grainy. I yelped, opening my eyes, and squinting as they adjusted to the bright light. The sun hurt my vision, but I could make out waves reaching the sand and the sky the bluest it had been so far on our trip.

I felt damp, itchy and still dazed. I turned to see James watching me with extremely messy hair. Immediately, I awoke fully.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he smiled.

"What the hell is going on!" I burst out.

"Augustine, it's okay," he began. "We fell asleep on the beach."

Shit.

"Ughhhhh," I groaned, covering my face with my hands. I peeked through my fingers to see James's depressed-looking face.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I should've set an alarm or something. If your parents get mad, I'll take the fall. I promise."

I propped myself up on my hands and squinted at him. His face held complete sincerity.

He's way too good for me.

I had known it before, but he really was. If anything were to happen between us, it wasn't him who'd hurt me. I'd end up ditching him the moment I got home, so I wouldn't have to deal with missing him. I couldn't do that to the vulnerable boy sitting next to me. I needed to leave before I lead him on.

"You know what?" I told him. "It's fine, I'll just head home."

"Wait, let me walk you," he smiled, slipping his hand into mine.

Best to rip the band-aid off.

"Don't," I whispered, pulling my hand back. "Just...don't."

Hurt flashed through his eyes as he took in what I was saying. Or rather, wasn't saying. I stood up and brushed the sand off my body, leaving a dejected James to watch the waves alone. It killed me to leave, but he'd get over it. I wasn't a difficult person to get over; Inez had showed me that when she left.

I trudged along the beach in a daze. The sun glared down on me as I prepared myself for my mother's wrath. As the cottage came into view, I sighed, slowly approaching the front door.

The house was silent, my quiet breaths the only noise filling the room. I took careful steps, hoping none of the floorboards creaked underneath me. From the front door, I could see the kitchen to my right, the living room to my left, and the wood stove that separated the two. I headed into the living room and up the stairs, cursing softly as one creaked.

Back in my room, I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly gathered clothes to take a shower. The hot water pelted my sandy skin, and I washed every grain out of my curly hair. I had the Folklore album playing quietly on my phone, but I couldn't find the energy to sing along. James's hurt face flashed through my mind repeatedly. His soft hazel eyes holding sadness I caused was a punch to my stomach every time I thought of them. I had seen that look in the mirror the day Inez decided she'd had enough of me. I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes to shut out his face, but it kept coming back.

I never considered myself capable of hurting someone like that, but the way his shoulders dropped, and his eyes went glossy showed me I could. Why though? I had just met him; he couldn't be that invested.

Could he?

------

"How was your night?"

I froze at the bottom of the stairs to see my mom with her arms crossed, glaring at me.