Estella [ On Hold ]

10

Estella's Pov

" Estella come here " Mrs Norman beckon me with her fingers

I know she's angry and it'll mean punishment , but if I disobey her she'll hurt me more

I move towards her slowly and stand in front of her

" open your palms girls " She raise her voice making me flinch
But I comply with her and forward my palms towards her

SMACK

The stinging pain of ruler is immediate on my palms and my eyes fill with tears

" you know you're not supposed to play with Sophie's toys right ?"

I nod

She's mad because I played with Sophie's toys ? But she's my sister and I was playing with her

SMACK

" you're starting to become so disrespectful and ungrateful no wonder your family abandoned you "

I sob

Wasn't she my mom? I used to have mom and dad too but after Sophie's was born they told me to call them Mr and Mrs Norman.  They loved me right ? I am being a bad girl that's why they are angry

" I wouldn't do it again mom " I apologize,  because our teacher said if we apologize to others their anger reduces

SMACK

" What did I say about calling me anything other than Mrs Norman? You dumb stupid girl " She shouts

SMACK

" I am sorry " I apologize again . No wonder she's angry I'm stupid

SMACK

SMACK

SMACK

I can't hear her anymore . I can only feel the pain in my palms.

I can't breathe
It's hurting too much
I'll di--

I jolt awake from my nightmare.

I look around the room and realize I am in my biological family house.

I bring my knees closer and rest my chin on it.

I am soaked in my sweat

I try to control my rapid breathing
Breathe in
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Breathe out
1
2
3
4
5

I repeat the process and slowly feel myself relaxing back .

I learned how to control my panic attacks when I had one of them and of the volunteers at the foster home noticed it
She helped me understand that I was not dying and to perform breathing techniques to prevent it