THE MELODY OF MISFORTUNE → ANTHONY BRIDGERTON (c.s)

the melody of misfortune

I'M SO THANKFUL FOR
ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU
LOVED BEFORE, BUT I
LOVE YOU MORE.

I'LL BE SUMMER SUN FOR YOU FOREVER,

The day that Death comes to knock on a loved one's door, a persons life is forever changed. After all, it is a widely known and understood concept that death changes a person. Especially when the cold and clammy hands of death wrap so tightly around a person that they love. And there is nothing, nothing, that anyone can do to outrun this change. The emptiness, the hollow feeling that will reside within their chest. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. No outrunning can or ever will work. Because at some point, people are faced with Death. At some point, everyone realizes that the world their knew before would never be the same. They could never look out on the pastures and only see the green grass across the rolling hills, scattered with dandelions and various wildflowers, birds chirping and the wind blowing through the trees. No, the only thing they would be able to notice is the wilting vegetation as the seasons change into something that will only kill it off, predators hunting their prey (killing even the smallest and cutest of the creatures dwelling in the pasture), and the trees shedding their leaves and leaving them browned against the ground. The world no longer looks the same — perhaps it is not Death himself that causes these changes within a person. More easily put, it can be said that it is grief that does this to someone. Grief not only changes the world for the people who are under its spell, people can lose themselves within it. Some people find it comforting for the time they need it, a useful tool to help them grow so that the next time, they can get over Death quicker. Others cannot bear to live in a world marked by Death and then painted by grief.

But, then again, who would wish to live in that kind of world? 

Anthony Bridgerton never wished to know what that world view was like, at least not at such a young age. He should have had other things to look forward to at the age of eighteen. The prospects of going to Oxford — allowing himself time to enjoy his youth (which came in two ways: drinking among his fellow students & friends and being able to fuck as many women as he could). But, instead, at the age of eighteen he was the one who saw Death wrap his cold hands around his father. Anthony Bridgerton was not able to look at the world the same after that — no one would have been able to. Gaining the Viscount title and responsibilities way before he had even deemed possible, his life had turned upside down. And sure, he still went to Oxford and rightfully earned himself the Rake title alongside Viscount, but he returned home to be thrust into a world of ledgers and keeping his family afloat. He had to be the shoulders his family could lean upon, the person who helped keep his mother together (because even he knew that while he watched his father die, his mother was the one who was impacted the most by his death). His youngest sister was born in a world without their father, born never knowing anything other Anthony being there for her. Anthony Bridgerton was a man weighed down by responsibilities and suddenly the world seemed too dull for him to wish for anything.   Because, after all, wishing for things meant he hoped for something. To hope for something would open himself up for a world of pain. And Anthony Bridgerton couldn't bear to handle that kind of pain again.