Falling For Insanity

The Commanding Officer

Chapter Ten:
Rosie Mae's POV

I am utterly embarrassed.

The other day when Eric had dropped me off after we all went to the movie, I immediately puked upon entering my bathroom. Over and over again. By the time the movie, tons of snacks, and my moment with Eric was over, I was far past nauseous. The next morning I woke up with a hangover worse than any other one I've had.

I was drinking to make the unexpected day I was spending with Eric easier to get through. But by my third shot, I was saying fuck it to the rest that were poured and offered. I'm a couple shots kind of girl, anything past that and someone should just put me to bed.

Have I totally lost my mind? Betraying my boyfriends trust with not just anyone, but his own brother? Guilt consumed me. I've never acted like that, not even close to it. Blake and I don't even interact like that. What got into me?

I'm disappointed and disgusted with myself to say the very least.

I've been trying my best to suppress it, ignore what I did. Two days later, the memory is still as prominent as the morning after.

I keep finding myself checking my phone for calls or texts, for Eric's sudden appearance so he can push my buttons about what happened. He isn't going to let me hear the end of this one. But as days pass, I conclude to myself that he is playing a game with me. Eric knows I'm anxious and guilty, perhaps thinking it's funny to keep me waiting around for him.

Not that this should be a shocker since I played into his games. Of course he is going to get me back someway, somehow.

The interaction benefited me in a way though. Now I know Eric's weakness. It's me. My guess about him having a crush on me was only a joke, meant to get on his nerves. I never expected it to be true. Giving how he treats me, why would I have known that? Besides, what kind of way is getting a girl by letting them attend your murderous rage and hold onto your weapon?

Knowing this made things worse too. Now that it's out there in the open, it left even more room for Blake to hate me one day. Eric and I are only a couple weeks into knowing each other and I already had a long, detailed rap sheet that gave Blake all the reasons to break up with me. It also gave Eric another way to irritate the hell out of me. I can already see him enjoying it now.

"Did you hear a guy went missing close to here?" Faith asked me, chewing her muffin. "I think his name was...Jeremy?" She nodded, for sure this time as she said, "Yeah, his name was Jeremy. He was older though so we wouldn't have known him."

My stomach dropped at the sound of Jermey's name. Amongst the chaos, I had almost forgotten about that poor man's life ending right before my very eyes. Just another good reason to loath myself at this point.

I tried to keep my facial expressions controlled, not wanting to express any more knowledge on the topic than she had. In my head, I must have thought that I wouldn't have to hear the name again, that it was all over. Truthfully, I shouldn't have been shocked at all to hear Faith say she heard about his disappearance. Maybe he wouldn't be found, but obviously people knew he was lost.

"People go missing, Faith." Blake said, causing us to both look at him, a bit confused. On a subject like this, normally Blake would be all ears, asking questions and showing sympathy for the victims family.

He sat next to me, an arm laid over the back of the booth behind me as his other hand stirred around his iced coffee with his straw, lazily.

"Yeah, but this is the first person to go missing from here and not been found in four years." Faith pointed out to him. "At least that's what the news said."