Kartar: Return of the Guardians

Chapter Two: I Don't Like Sloan!

"Hey..." Sloan's voice faded away as he saw me coming. 

I looked at the scene before me. 

Sloan had flowers in his hand. There was a girl standing next to Sloan who was reaching out for the flowers. All I knew was that I was not the girl standing next to Sloan reaching out for the flowers and that confused me for a second. I mean, I know I definitely did not want to be Ashley Jones, there is hardly a person I detest more, but for that instant I kind of did. Sloan was supposed to give me flowers. What the hell was going on?

And very, very quickly I got very, very angry. 

"Nice," I said to Sloan, nodding to his stupid carnations. He had probably bought twelve of them or something, just to look like a sweet guy. But I've known Sloan longer than any girl at this school, and he is far from sweet. In fact, he's pretty much the opposite. "So how long have you two been like... you know?" I grinned but I'm pretty sure I didn't look the least bit friendly. "That's why she gets flowers, right? I mean, you never told me you were going out with her so I'm just assuming..." I trailed off waiting. 

Sloan's face was uninterpretable. 

"Sloan?" I asked sweetly.

"What are you doing?" he asked roughly, his brows narrowing.

I shrugged. "Nothing. Happy Valentine's Day, you stupid son of a—" my goddamn voice started trembling and I just turned around and walked away before even finishing my sentence. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I acting so petty and jealous? I didn't like Sloan, I didn't!

I had two more classes left but I really didn't feel like going. I didn't dare turn around to see who exactly had been around when I had burst out in that way, and I was deathly afraid that the rumors would start to fly. 

Kartar likes Sloan, they'd say, Kartar likes Sloan but he gave Ashley flowers for Valentines. 

I'd look like such a freaking idiot! I was going to be laughed at and whispered about! This school had thin walls, when one person knew something, everyone else knew it too. Oh my god, how was I going to face Sloan again? He probably figured out I liked him. No, no, no, I don't like him, I don't! What am I thinking? What am I doing? What's happening to me?!

He's not right for me anyway, that's what I keep telling myself. He's rude and lazy and he doesn't like anything except hockey and... and... and he was supposed to like me! All those signs, the things people said he'd said, what Evan said he'd said. It's my pride that's hurt more than anything. I don't think I would have liked him back even if he did like me. I just like the idea of a guy being heads over heels for me, as narcissistic as it sounds. And what a thing it would have been if Sloan Breslin, the boy all the girls are after, liked me.

That was it, really. I just want someone to reject. I'm a horrible person! I thought I had a stronger moral compass than that stupid boy but I was just as bad as him! I hate Sloan, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him! And now that stupid awkward scene is going to haunt me for the rest of my life, forever, and people will talk about it when they think back to high school, they'll be like "Hey, remember Kartar Daire, she thought Sloan liked her, but really she just thought she was the queen of the world," and more stuff, stuff I can't think of right now!

I was so hopped up on all those weird emotions that I didn't realize I had walked all the way home until I was trying to open the door without putting the key in first. Oh man, that boy did strange things to me. I hate Sloan for that, forever! I'll hate him for the rest of my life!

The first thing I noticed was the stupid plants. 

I stared at the flowers my dad had left on the foyer table for my mom. I felt like knocking them to the ground but instead just ran to my room and threw my bag across it. I jerked the curtains shut and stripped all my clothes and almost jumped into my pajamas, crawled into my bed and stared at the dark blue canopy over my head. I was breathing steadily, my fists were closed so tightly that the nails were digging in. And goddamn the day to hell, I started crying.