The end:

The end.

Ending something is always scary for me. walking away from bad situations is always hard for me. Change is something I just dread. I would rather just stay in one spot if it means I'm comfortable but then I would have never met you. I'm not only closing the chapter anymore, I'm closing the whole book. This time it isn't a see you later. You are leaving and so am I. I could make this about all the times we had together but I'll keep those memories locked away far far away and when I think of you I'll pull one out little by little. I hope one day you cross my mind and I don't pull out a memory I hope I just smile and move forward. Life is so crazy sometimes, and I know we are only here for a moment but some of my best days were spent next to you and some of my worst ones too. I try to block those out but loving you was hard. Loving you was like juggling... who was I gonna get next month, next week, tomorrow. Your patterns remind me of why i am better of without you. The silence I finally feel when my mind doesn't think of you during the day or on my way home. I avoid your rode of all cost though because I do think of you then, but I guess it isn't your road anymore. I guess this isn't your home anymore or even your town ,it's mine. Life will carry on as it always does and I will think of you and I know you will think of me sometimes too. There's nothing wrong with any of that, we are humans who knew all our little Secrets but somehow will end as strangers. You will move forward and find someone who can deal with your flaws and your uncertainty. Your corky ways and your selfishness. They also might smile on some days because your laugh is contagious and sense of flirting is not always bad either. As much as I think about you in this goodbye I think of me more... who I would've been without you? At my lowest would I have still be here? Would I still care about sex the way I did or would I value it as love? Would the toxic turn ons even be a thing? I don't know... I guess we will never know. For once this goodbye doesn't hurt as bad as the others.. it was quick but it was needed. You were someone I would have never gave up on so I guess this is going to help me more. I guess my soft spot was to soft and letting you controlling my mind like a robot is not normal but it's so easy for me. Again I hate change. I hate letting people go and I hate the idea of finding someone new and doing all the stupid things and questions over but it's time to move forward. It's time to start thinking about me more and you less. It's time to remember Caroline before you. It's time to hold on to those memories but let them go as they wonder through my head .. one by one.. erasing you. One day I won't remember your laugh or the way you held me at night and we didn't move one inch. One day I will be healed and all of this will make sense. Everything will be okay, like you said and I replied I know..