Falling For Insanity

Don't You Think?

Chapter Eighteen
    Rosie Mae's POV

Faith and I walked on either side of Blake, arms linked through his as we enter the party Cory decided to throw at his place. The music is loud, air is sticky, and the smell of marijuana fills the house. I've learned that Cory's parents work a lot, often times on vacation or having plans. He came home for the holidays but I still had yet to even see his parents in passing.

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I'm having the most difficult time acting "normal" around Blake since I killed those men. I feel like every move I make is strange, giving him reason to be suspicious of me. It isn't just him it feels this way with, it's everyone I pass, everyone I make eye contact with.

Do they know? Can they somehow tell I'm a murderer by looking at me? Am I blending in? Do I appear different to people? A million things ran through my mind without a stopping point.

Eric had told me that night before we went to bed that the first kill will be the hardest sleep. I hate to say it but...

I've never slept better.

The admission to myself came quick but unwanted. When I enter a room, it's as if I own it now, rather anyone knows that or not. Every time someone speaks to me, I can't help but to think about how easy it would be for me to end their life right then and there, them not having a clue of my capabilities. There's something gratifying about being a big fat question mark.

When first getting involved with Eric, when he forced me to go with him initially, I felt out of place. I didn't believe I could ever belong with a group such as them. Somehow, now, I feel like I'm exactly where I've always belonged. Whereas I once thought my life was in complete disarray...it was actually all falling perfectly into place.

"You seem...different." Faith observes. Blake had left us to get some drinks. "Did you and Blake have good sex or something?"

I am different. I walk taller, bolder, more confident. My demeanor is no longer shy, appearing small and meek. There is no physical change, but my mentality has almost completely flipped.

My eyes go wide as I hit her arm playfully. "Hush it up!" I giggle. "Look, there's Cory!" I point, distracting her from the topic, happy he was walking past right then.

Cory and I hadn't spoken since I basically saved his life. Not a peep. It has been a few days and this grown ass man couldn't pull his tampon out and acknowledge me. He's evidently just mad that he fucked up and I ended up on top. Serves him right. It's not like I asked for this. Why he blames me is unclear and ridiculous.

Faith takes Cory's arm, stopping him mid stride. "You're just going to walk right past and not say hi?" She flirts. What she sees in him, I don't know.

Cory's eyes flicker to me, empty before engaging in conversation with her.

Blake returns quickly, handing Faith her drink before handing me my own. I don't waste any time knocking the drink back, not taken a drink of alcohol since earlier today. Blake wanted to spend the evening together before the party, so we did. But all I wanted to do the entire time was go get drunk...and talk to his brother.

"I feel like we've barely seen each other." Blake tells me, taking my waist in his hand. "The break is almost over, Rosie."

I smiled up at him sweetly, the lying is easy now. "I should've never taken up so much work over the break. We were excited to spend every day together."

"It's okay. You wanted the extra credit." Blake says, always the most understanding even when being lied to. "Good thing is we only have this last semester to get through. Then we have the summer together."