The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

cigarettes out the window

swibbledib and infected stood near the foggy window of the store as they saw unpleasant, supposedly ready, waiting for a certain someone as he was trying to pay for probably a box of chocolates and some roses.

"U th1nk h3z D4t!Ng s0M30N3?" infected inquired as he turned to Dibby, smoking her vape "I don't know sherlock- judging from-..this" she waved her hand towards the readied unpleasant "and the fact that your dad finally tried another cologne that doesn't STINK I'm pretty sure he is."

"!tz jUzt s0 w3!rd!!" he slightly pulled himself away form the window and scratched his head "th1z- th1z jUzt c4m3 OUtt4 N0WH3R3 0_o" he sniffled and wiped his nose with his hand-warmer before popping out his medicine from his bag, dibby just exhaled the last remnants of flavored smoke before shoving her vape back into her pocket and turning to the sickly infected "I mean yeah- you're right, but honestly with you keeping on mentioning that pink cube I think he might date them"

"HUH???? j3r3my?? pffft n0 w4y-" dibby suddenly shushed him and shoved him and herself into a bush as his father came nearly running out and looking around, before a giant pink cube lady went behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, startling unpleasant, but he turned around in both awe and surprise as he greeted jeremy, meanwhile the two young-adults poked their heads out of the bush to observe them, with infected almost gasping out loud, dread overcame through his expression, his jaw basically hit the floor.

"see?" dibby whispered before infected started to stammer in disbelief "bUt bUt bUt-" dibby smacked him across the head lightly to keep him quiet as unpleasant revealed the presents he'd bought jeremy with an albeit awkward and embarrassed manner as jeremy happily accepted them and leaned in to give a big smooch onto unpleasants face, leaving a deep purple lipstick mark, and a deep beetroot red blush onto unpleasants face.

infected continued to watch the old "couple" hold hands and walk towards unpleasants car, trying so hard not to lose his mind at this very moment over jinxing himself and the fact that his own FATHER is dating a maniacal cube who likes to crush people or have mercy on them at the cost of turning them to a 'pretty princess', he slowly turned to dibby and suddenly gripped at her shoulders, shaking her, almost screaming as the two were no where to be seen basically "0H MY G0D 0H MY G0D W4T W1LL 1 DO N0W??????? I'LL B F0RC3D 2 B3 A PR3TT1 PR1NC3SS F0R3V3R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" dibby forcefully shoved them away, grumpily trying to calm him "CALM DOWN!! I'm sure that won't happen at all- a-at least that's what I think-" infected was close to sobbing before remembering that he had a parent to stalk and got up, brushing off the leaves and calming himself before helping dibby up "1 gu3zz w3'll z33 wh3n w3 w4tch '3m m0r3-"

...

the two old lovebirds stayed in the car front of a drug store within a gas station, drinking their slushie's as unpleasant was just embarrassingly looking away, red from everything and just being like an awkward boy on his first date (seeing as it is.) "uh..sorry I couldn't get to red ball diner- don't know why they banned me haha-"

jeremy retaliated, crouching down further to unpleasants level (as if they had to shrink and curl their heavy body to fit in the small car) "awww its no problem sugar~ gotta say you being romantic was more than enough to make up for this, didn't know you were a good dancer~" he brought a hand to carress unpleasants completely embarrassed face, he grumbled something "i-it's whatever-! not like I still like you that much or anything-"

"gradie- we're on a date- and ya bought me flowers and chocolate and even told me ya loved me at the dance"

unpleasant almost chocked at his slushie and just turned around "yeah yeah whatever-" jeremy giggled in amusement as he rubbed unpleasants cheek with his fingers "oh hohoho you!"

after a while unpleasant relaxed a little and looked up to the drug store in front of them, a thought- no- memory slowly clicking in his mind. "say...this reminds me of uh- something that happened with me, I don't know why I still think of it-"

"hm? and what may that be?"

unpleasant sighed before fiddling with his straw "well when I was driven out of my country and taken to this uh- RV camp thing I used to run away a lot, especially to the drug store, not like I would buy anything, nah. I was 16! but it was just to hide near the entrance and just....oh I dont know sulk I guess?" he shrugged "then there was this guy, he got out with a bag of alcohol and condoms n whatnot, and a pack of cigarettes in his hand, and uh- he noticed me, and I don't know why..but he handed me the pack of cigarettes."

"and I took it....and I chewed on the blunts, y'know, making another use of the little stress relievers...but the thing is, I don't smoke, I never lit a cigarette and I probably will never. I don't even know why I took in the first place, he didn't even say anything, he just gave this random 16 year old a cigarette pack and just left saying nothing. Why? well that's on god of all things....I-I don't even remember what I did with the rest...but I do know that I never lit them, and sometimes I'm grateful for that..I hate the smell of cigarettes anyways.."

he finished his rambling and then slowly sipped on his slushie again before jeremy put his hand around him and brought him a little closer "and I'm glad you never lit it either.." she smiled, making unpleasant stop sipping for a moment and smile as well, closing his eyes and cuddling up slightly in the car, all as infected watched through binoculars "d4mn.......s##t g0t r34l.."

"are we done now?"

"n0"

"actually fuck it this entire thing is a NOTHING burger!! all we're doing is watch an old couple be- a-an old couple!"

"bUt U d0nt und3rst4nd!!! !tz my d4d!!"

"DAD MY ASS I'm leaving!" dibby said, getting up "if your dad is dating someone, then GOOD ON HIM. as long as jeremy over there doesn't treat you like shit you're practically good to go, this is HIS life not YOURS. also I don't want uncle zlurple to think I'm fuckin' around with drugs again" she rolled her eyes at the ridiculous statement before walking off, leaving a slightly devastated infected alone.

as he watched his friend technically 'abandon' him, he stared back at the car, dropping the binoculars completely, taking in what Dibby had scolded him for.

maybe this wouldn't be so bad, he just hopes his dad gets himself together before he'd break down about jeremy again.