What I Wish to Say to Him

Skate Canada SP

I took a breath to relief from the tense atmosphere inside the rink. Thousands of words were running through my head, like a malfunctioning script player does, that cause me unable to think clearly. I remembered that his triple axel was supreme, par excellence, and top-class. But what happened to his quad and combination was unacceptable, for him especially and for me. I decided to go to the restroom to clear my head. This sounded so strange because the one who were supposed to be the most confused and frustrated should be Him, yet why I felt so twisted in my heart? If there was anyway that I could tell him how I felt, how I thought, how I hoped, I would do anything for it.

I looked into my eyes in the mirror of the restroom. The freezing Canadian night has me frozen like a Popsicle. I told myself to cheer up, for I know he is capable of great things. I clapped my hands on my cheeks to wake myself up from the infinite loop of desperation.

I stepped out of the door of the restroom, walked through the long, silent aisle in which there was nobody except me between the restroom and the lobby of the rink. Just as I turned to step into the lobby, I bumped into him. I quickly stepped back and apologized without identifying whose chest it was I buried my face in. But his voice was too obvious to be known. He quickly apologized to me as well and recognized me fast enough. He thanked me for cheering for him today and walked by me. I saw his fingers ran through his nose and instantly I knew that he was weak, fragile. He was opposite to what I believed he should be. Even if he was my idol, he was still a human being, and everybody will be weak and fragile in this kind of time.

I quickly spoke out his name to stop him from entering the men's restroom. He stopped , but did not turn back, as I imagined he would be. I knew he would be listening so I started.

"The only thing that I wish for is your happiness on the ice and your health. Tomorrow, skate SEIMEI. Don't even think about yourself. You are Seimei. I wish for nothing but this. Also, cry out loud if that is what you feel inside, don't keep it inside." I stopped for a while, finding words.

I will still be come tomorrow to see you. Ignore me tomorrow if you feel what I told you was rubbish."

And I walked away.
In the edge of my eye, I saw him turning around, red-eyed.

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Hello yuzu fans, this is what I thought about yuzu's SP performance in Skate Canada. These are the words that I wish to tell him if I ever got a chance like the one in my story to tell him what I felt. :)