The Way Up to Heaven

This is a fan fiction about the short story by Roald Dahl called, "The Way Up to Heaven". If you haven't read the original story I recommend you read it because it is wonderful. I hope you all enjoy!

The picture used for the cover is by Frank Violence.

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The Way Up to Heaven

POV Mr. Foster

I was in my study going over old cheques that I had signed only weeks before, making sure all of the money was accounted for in the bank books. I had done this already the day before so I was just passing the time. I glanced at my clock on the desk in front of me; we had at least half an hour before we really had to leave. I could feel her moving about and pacing. I could almost hear her eye twitching and the corner of my lips turned up to a joyful smile. Her paranoia of being late was absolutely absurd, ridiculous and my only joys of late were exploiting it until she just about had a fit. I must say it was quite comical to see. She would fidget and twitch; she looked like she was going to go mad. 

I supposed I did love her, after all I married her, but I was bored. She was a trained horse, broken through the years. There were no more surprises from this old mare. I wanted a new, brash horse, something exciting but I was too old to find a new woman.  

I decided to come out and release her from her panic. I wouldn't want her going crazy, too much hassle. I got up from my chair and left the room. As I entered the foyer, I could see her running around and I kept my face composed in a neutral position. I asked her if we had better get going. She lit up at my words and I suppose that I was too excited that she was leaving for six weeks. I was going to the men's club until her return and they always treated me well there. They had decent food, good company, entertainment and those nice girls that came around to satisfy us rugged men.  

We finally left the house but the weather looked terrible. I knew it; something was going to prevent this woman from getting on that plan. The weather chose to do it. 

As we drove to the airport she asked me some meaningless questions about mailing and missing her- pointless. As if I was really going to tell her what I was up to. After she was done talking, there was actual peace and quiet. I was hoping the weather would clear so that she could leave but I knew that it wouldn't. Just my luck. Of course, she would go out of her mind. I had to make myself not smile at that thought. 

We stopped suddenly. I thought that we were stuck because of the weather but the driver informed me that we had arrived, and on time no less. The plane was still not going to take off. I knew that. As she bustled out of the car, I could tell she was somewhat relieved, but still anxious. 

I dropped her off at the terminal and, as I was leaving, I overheard some of the staff saying her flight was cancelled. A smile came over my face as I drove back to the empty house. 

Finally, I was away from that noisy bitty. I had time to relax in quiet before she returned in a few hours. Hopefully, she'd be too exhausted to bother me. I sat in my study, thinking about what had happened. Had I pushed her too far? Had I made her late? Would she snap? Would she start screaming and running around the house like a raving lunatic or would her mind just give out and she'd start babbling like an idiot? I couldn't put her in the asylum but the thought made me chuckle. 

After a few hours she called to tell me that the flight had been postponed until tomorrow. She made a fuss about spending money at a hotel and buying food. She was such a bother but she was tired, I could tell, so I tried to be nice to her. 

With a short time left until her return, I got up and went to the phone to call a limousine to pick us up in the morning. By the time it dropped me off first, she would be delayed. She'd be squirming in her seat, convulsing. I had a chuckle at that thought. 

I heard a knock at the door. Finally, she was home. I didn't bother to get up. She could open the door herself and she did. I figured it was courteous to greet her after about two minutes of her looking over the whole ground floor for me. She looked exhausted and after a brief bout of panic, when I told her about the cab tomorrow and how I would be dropped off first, she gave up and went to bed. She was so tired she forgot to use the elevator.  

I stayed in my study and slept in my big chair. Then I got up in the morning, got ready and sat in my study again. I could hear her running down the stairs and panicking as it was, when I heard the cab come. She opened the front door talking to the driver. She made such a fuss. After I heard no one else in the house, I got up, put on my jacket and went outside. She looked the same as yesterday with frantic eyes and twitching. I realized at once that I had forgotten a present for Ellen.  

My wife protested me going back into the house to get it. I was so angry! She actually spoke back to me, that ridiculous old woman. She would pay for this. I decided I'd take an extra long time trying to find it. 

As I walked into the house, I decided to check my bedroom. I got into the elevator and pushed the up button. I was between the second and third floors when all of a sudden it stopped abruptly. I nearly fell down. I spoke aloud, "What in the world?" I pushed the button again and nothing happened. I pushed it twenty more times but nothing. I could swear at that moment I heard the car drive away. She wouldn't have left me. I waited fifteen more minutes but still nothing. I pushed all of the buttons and started screaming for help. 

After four hours, my voice was hoarse and my throat was so dry I couldn't even hear myself anymore so I stopped. I couldn't believe that she had actually left me here. I was all alone, tired and thirsty. I realized that there was an escape hatch above me, on the ceiling of the elevator. I didn't have a chair but the railing was at waist height. I climbed up while trying not to fall or slip. I kept pushing the lid when, all of a sudden, my foot slipped from the railing. I fell and, as I hit the floor, I heard a terrible snapping sound. I realized what had just happened and then the pain shot up and down my leg. There was nothing more that I could do. I just sat there and no one came.