Stepping Up [ON HOLD]

The spiral staircase is never-ending. I lean over the railing as I run, and all I see is black. It's getting harder and harder to breathe; my lungs are getting tighter with every step I take. Down the stairs. Just keep going to the bottom. My flip-flops flap with every plunge of my foot.

"Never stop going down, Jess, don't you ever stop going down." Her voice echoes around in my mind.

I won't stop Grandma. Don't worry. I'll never stop.

And that's when I hear it. The screaming. Her voice. Grandma's. Soon others follow. Henry's. Mom's. Ali's. But it's the last voice to join in that breaks me down. Minnie's. Even after what she did to me, even after all that happened that summer, even though I can't forgive her, it pulls me to a stop.

And that's when I wake up.

*

"Jessica? Jess? Get up. Todd's here."

I ignore my mother's voice and thrust my head under the pillow. It's the worst day of the year. The start of school.

"Jessica Alice Graham, don't make me come up there!" Oh dear God. No, I don't want her coming up here, thank you. Alright, I'm up.

"Shit." I curse myself for not doing my laundry yesterday. You know what that means... (shiver)... A SKIRT!!! I pick the most modest one I have, which isn't saying much, seeing as it only goes down to my mid-thigh. UGHHHH. And it's black. At least my Beatles t-shirt is clean. Yes. That and my jean jacket, and sneakers. That should dress down the skirt.

My brother stares at me as I make my way into the kitchen.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" He must be referring to the skirt.

"I'm an alien. I ate your sister." Yikes. My comebacks are not so smooth in the mornings.

"Yeah..." He returns to his pancakes. Yep, that's my brother Ben. Attention span of a squirrel.

As I dig into my own set of pancakes, Todd walks in. Todd is my best friend. We met in kindergarten and have been inseparable ever since. Now, I know what you're thinking. Oh, no. Not another, fall in love with your best friend thing. Well don't worry. There is nothing, NOTHING, like that between me and Todd. Besides, he has the best girlfriend in the world. Dani is a senior, and she and Todd have been together since our freshman year. Now we're juniors, and Todd and Dani are closer than ever. It's super sweet.

"Hurry up with those pancakes Jess, we gotta get to school." Todd reminds me.

"Goh-ih." I say, my mouth filled with buttermilky-goodness. I shove the last bite in my mouth, grab my bag, and head for the door.

Todd's pick-up is parked in the driveway. I throw my bag to the backseat and climb in.

"So what's with the skirt, huh, Jess?" Todd asks as he pulls out of the driveway.

"Didn't do laundry yesterday," I grumble, slumping down againts the worn leather seat.

"Sucks," he chuckles, turning into the school.

"Yeah. Well, catch ya later!" I jump out quickly and head inside, all to eager to escape Todd's entourage of friends that crowds around his car every morning.

After getting what I need for first period, I use my last ten minutes before homeroom finding a book in the library. I pick one that I remember being on the English Lit list for the year, and stuff it in my locker for later. I shuffle into homeroom and take a seat in the back by the window.

I love English. I'm taking AP twelve in eleventh grade, so I'm the only junior in my class. The seniors don't really socialize with me, but I don't really mind. Slowly, all the seats fill in, and finally, the teacher walks in.

WOW.

That's what is repeating over and over in my head right now.

Light blue button down, khakis, muscles, dark brown hair, dazzling green eyes. Oh my GOD do I love English Literature.