Who am I? What am I? Why me? Basic questions I ask myself regularly that I am yet to find an answer too. It's like I'm stood at a crossroad, not knowing which way to go or where I belong. I'm lost. Alone. Just me. Stood on my own 2 feet facing the world. Its me vs the world. Me vs an army of 8 billion people. No allies. Nothing. I feel that everybody that I pass in the street is against me.
I don't really know how to introduce myself. But what I can tell you is that I'm no writer. I failed English twice, I'm dyslexic, I didn't say my first word until I was 3 years old and I failed most of my GCSE's. Be prepared for a shit tun of spelling and punctuation errors! Can I swear? I'll try not too but I joined this site to speak my mind, to put my own thoughts and feelings into words for my own benefit.. I want something for the 'future cam' (Hey that's me!) to look back on from the teenager 'cam'.
Who am I?: Cam? Cammy? Zach? "Jam jar"? "Gay cunt"? I've been called every name under the sun. I hate the name I was born with. It's long, boring and dull. Maybe my name fits my personality after all! Except I'm not long. Im currently 5ft 6. Growing up I was always the smallest kid in the class (I still am). And that's where the name "jam jar" comes into play (my drama teacher said I'm small enough to fit in a jam jar...). That's the name everyone from School calls me. Literally everyone (apart from teachers minus the drama teacher)! My first year of secondary school. Year 7. The school year I have enjoyed the most so far. I was the popular kid. The "cool kid". I hung around with the other popular kids. "Your the cute kid the local paper omg" said a random 15 year old girl to 11 year old me. 4ft 5 year 7 me 'pulling' a popular year 11 girl. What more does a School boy want?
Everything was just so perfect. Year 8 was just as good. At that age my parents let me travel longer distances. I went to football matches with friends and made some of the most memorable memories that I will treasure forever. What's not to like? Travelling around the country (other countries too if you include wales!), just you and the best friends in the world (and my crush). And then most recently in 2016, seeing the football team you have grown up watching play and win at Wembley stadium in London. The most magical and iconic sports stadium in the world. I love football. I absolutely adore it. Whenever I play or go and watch football, all my problems just float away and disappear.
So yup thats a really quick into. I will go into a lot more detail in the next one or maybe I will just update this. After all this is for ME. I just want want somewhere I can put stuff that isnt in my computer or in a notebook that is easy to find. Like a diary, that I can look back on in the future, hidden away on the internet where nobody that I know can find.
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