My Thank You to All Time Low

Thank You

April 6, 2016

Open Letter from a girl who has been secretly fighting an all time low

I just finished watching the official music video of All Time Low's hit song "Missing You" off of their album "Future Hearts" that was released back last year on April 3, 2015. The video had me crying. I am a fairly new fan of All Time Low and I wonder why I barely discovered them over a year ago. The album "Future Hearts" really helped me. It literally saved my life. Took me a year to open up and finally admit that I was in a bad depression after being in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Music has always been soul therapy for me. I have secretly been battling depression for a very long time. I listen to a lot of bands growing up such as Simple Plan, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Blink 182. Nickelback and Papa Roach. Many songs have helped me get through my darkest moments. Simple Plan was the band that helped me all up until 2013 when "This Song Saved My Life" was released. I thought I was fine after that song release because I felt I was ready to move on since Simple Plan had helped me get through and gave me strength but in 2014 everything change. I lost that strength.

I discovered All Time Low on YouTube in the summer of 2014 after my horrendous breakup. I stumbled upon a video; a lyric video of "Therapy." The lyrics made me cry but it helped make my heart heal quicker. I wasn't depressed because I was broken up with. I was depressed by the discovery of that I had let myself get involved in an abusive relationship, even if it was emotional. I ended up with someone just like my biological father. Someone I promised myself never to let control my life but I did. I was depressed because I let someone tear me down. Tear my confidence down and made me think I was the problem. I was the reason why the relationship was not working. That I was not good enough. That I didn't deserve love. I was depressed at the fact that I didn't recognize myself. I didn't see any strength left in me when I looked in the mirror. Tears would always fall out of my eyes like rain falling from the sky and I would beg myself to stop crying and be strong and I would get through this. I was ashamed that I let someone tear me down and that I had lost who I am. That's why I never spoke up about my depression. "Therapy" really helped me soothe my soul. I learned to let go of my misery with every time I replayed the song.

Fall of 2014, in college, I took a writing class of writing short fiction. All Time Low gave me the inspiration to write about my break up. It was also a part of my healing process. I was going through a really rough patch. I got really sick that I missed pretty much a whole month of school. It was a very stressful time in my life. I was taking 17 credits, working 2 jobs, plus a work-study job and my mode of transportation was the public bus. I had very little sleep and I was just stressed out of my mind. "Therapy" came to the rescue. Gave me the will and strength to keep pushing word. I made the decision to keep my new job (where I got recently hired) and let my old job go after 6 months. Some stress went away. After high school, I never really bother to write again. All Time Low inspired more writings of mine. "Remembering Sunday" was the new muse. I wrote "Perfect Girl Gone" based on the lyrics of the song. I still wish there was an official video. I was inspired to write my short story. I was motivated to keep writing.

December of 2014, I hit rock bottom. I was faced with leaving college after 2 years. I was so stressed out I had 2 panic attacks which triggered my asthma and more panic. One of my episodes, I had at work. Christmas Eve, neighbors discovered that my fur baby, Teddy, passed away. My heart was broken and shattered. Depression came crawling back and attacked silently. I was starting the New Year as a college dropout and having lost my cat of 4 years. My first furry friend. Not the way I wanted to start the new year of 2015 at all.

I started listening to more songs from All Time Low. "Somewhere in Neverland: became my new favorite. Peter Pan is my favorite childhood Disney movie. The notion of never growing up especially with the harsh realities I faced. I felt like a failure. I was not motivated. I was numb. I lost all feeling. Depression had taken over. I tried to find the light and I found it through "Somewhere in Neverland." Hopeless Records were uploading videos of songs from "Future Hearts." I fell in love with the album. "Kids in the Dark," "Satellite," "Something's Gotta Give," "Cinderblock Garden" and "Missing You" helped me get out of my funk. I felt as if Alex, Jack, Zack, and Rian were singing songs about me.

I was not alone anymore. I didn't need to self-medicate myself. Somehow I was reminded that I would be missed. All Time Low gave me the motivation to go back to college and keep fighting on even through the darkest moments. For that, I have to say thank you.

Thank you, Alex, Jack, Zack, and Rian. Thank you Hopeless Records for allowing the world to hear All Time Low. Now I don't feel I am fighting my all time low moments in life by myself.

Thank you.

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