Grey III - Revelations

Chapter 23 - Silence Is Screaming

I don't know how long I sat there crying into my hands before I could compose myself, but my eyes burned and my head was pounding when I finally looked up. Looked up directly into Malachi's pale yellow stare, only to watch his curved eyes widen, his eyebrows rising as his lopsided smile grew. Then he laid back in the slush and leaves and let out a deep, roaring laugh.

I noticed the others staring at me like I was gravely injured, half in shock, half in horror. I wiped away the tears on my cheeks to find the consistency too thick, gritty, too warm, like my tears were alive. I didn't need to look to know they were blackened mahogany. I turned to James and saw his jaw set. He wiped whatever I had missed with his sleeve, a new look in his eyes, guilt or sadness or something similar.

"What is this?" I whispered, all I could make my raw voice do.

"Your...soul?" James answered hesitantly. "Or maybe essence is the better term, since we don't know what we have in us really. Abraham called it essence." James was staring at the ground now. Wiping his dirty fingers in the dead grass, careful to avoid my eyes.

"And did he mention why I'm leaking my soul?"

"It's my father calling his own. Trying to pull you to him. It happens to me at least when I'm near others he owns."

James glanced to Malachi, who had stopped laughing but was still laying on his back, clearly listening. He spoke up in the silence that followed, conversationally like he was talking to the tops of the trees he watched from his position.

"You see, I was only trying to show your Pair what to expect when he gets us all again, when he owns us all. Though maybe it'll be better for her, or worse, he's never really had a woman before, not like her. Just trying to be helpful, dear brother."

"You're not my brother!" James spat the words at Malachi. "And if you ever push another memory on her, I will make you suffer for it. Trust me, I still know how."

"Then tell her to keep her embarrassingly unguarded 'Gift' away from my mind. It's as sharp a weapon as any other I own, so her getting cut when she's careless around it isn't my concern. If she knew how to even mildly control her power, then I wouldn't have been able to push anything on her so easily." He raised his bound hands. "You see, I'm a bit cut off from my full strength. It's quite honestly pathetic that I could still overpower her so easily. Weak."

Before I even felt him leave my side, James was standing over Malachi, holding him up by the front of his shirt. James' fist smashed down into Malachi's upturned face and he fell back, unconscious once again.

A choked sound escaped my throat as I watched a scene so similar to Malachi's memory happen before my waking eyes. When James turned, I couldn't look him in the face.

» ✦ «

The walk back to the car was quiet. Eerily so. And when we arrived and deposited Malachi into the middle seat, our ever-unconscious guest, Jordan sat across the aisle from him, Nevaeh and Ailech in the back, Kael in the front passenger seat with me.

I didn't know what had happened in the seconds Malachi had pulled Jordan's mind, but she clearly didn't want to talk about it, or to me at all. So I leveled my eyes on the road ahead. I could already feel the winter wearing on me, or maybe it was just Malachi, or life, the hundred other problems I had beating down my door. I had my family back. I had my Pair. But I still wasn't happy. I thought I would be happier, should be. I just felt empty, and tired, so thoroughly and completely tired.

I glanced over at my brother, my real one, or the closest thing I had ever truly had to one. Kael's face looked drawn and solemn, empty too as he stared out his window, not noticing I was watching him. I felt deeply for him, for him not being able to have the same hopeful torture I had with Malachi. Ambriel was gone for him, for good. She had chosen her bed, laid down and died in it, and was then brought back without the ability to be saved. At least Malachi had a chance, even if it seemed slimmer and slimmer every time he opened his poisoned mouth. Even if I had almost killed him when I realized what he was doing to my Pair.

I took a deep, stabilizing breath, glancing in the rear view mirror to see that our hostage was still out cold.

"Do you want to talk about Ambriel?" I kept my voice low to make our conversation as private as the vehicle allowed, and by the lack of acknowledgement from the back seats, I assumed they either didn't hear or were respectfully pretending.

"I'd rather not," Kael replied just as quietly.

I nodded, keeping my eyes trained forward. Kael surprised me when he continued after a beat.

"Because if I do then I'll hate you for letting her die, even though I know it wasn't your fault, even though I know it was her own choices. But I'll still feel it and I don't want to. I don't want to hate you, you don't deserve that. But if I feel some of it, I'll feel all of it, and if I feel all of it I'll fall apart completely. So no, I don't want to talk about it. I can't."

I nodded again. And the silent car ride continued.

» ✦ «

Ailech's gifts were nearly as helpful as mine, as he stopped Malachi from waking for the rest of the short drive. And my slowly diminishing headache from his earlier attack was grateful for every second I didn't have to worry about him rousing. Something about Malachi scared me, made me uneasy, and I didn't like the foreign feeling. Luckily, every few minutes, Ailech would lean forward and lay a hand on the side of Malachi's head, do whatever magic to keep him under, and then look over at me to give a weak smile or little nod.

The third time, he paused as he withdrew his hand from our sleeping guest and raised his eyebrows at me in a silent offer. I don't know how he possibly knew my headache was still there, but I gave a quick nod. He only touched my temple for the edge of a second, but the pain was wiped away as easily as a droplet of water on glass, and I breathed easier. I hated headaches.

Soon, we were in a nondescript area of the vast forest, somewhere East of the city we had called home for months the previous year. I now understood why James' father hadn't gleaned much information from Ambriel about the Vault's location, as even when I was trying to pay attention to the route we took, all I had really picked up on was...East. I wondered if it was a Lost Ward, if so, it was a good one.

A small circle of green grass stood out along the far edge of the clearing we had off-roaded to, defying the melting snow all around it. When we began walking to it, I felt a sizzle pass over my skin, like a soft vibration, another ward. I looked back to the car to see it was already gone. Clever. I wasn't surprised when I turned forward again and was met by a wooden arch like an empty doorway, rough carvings marring every edge.

And with little less than a shared glance and a shrug, we walked through and into the Vault, the most heavily warded and guarded secret of the modern mages. I couldn't help but smile just a little at the thought.

Does this chapter make up for the last? I mean, it is less gut-wrenching, right? And isn't that the best you can expect from me?

And hey, two chapters in a day seems pretty benevolent, am I right?

Please forgive for 22. Send help.

Love,
T