Greys III - Revelations

Chapter 36 - Wide Eyes & Wild Eyes

The Vault was buzzing because of the newcomers, more so the Collector's captured Half with the wild eyes and less the young woman leading the Clan of Goliath men, or the expansion of Jordan and James' Clan. Though I personally found Chi much more interesting than Malachi, and less anxiety-inducing, but then with the murder of Grayson - by James, not wild-eyes - and Abby's collars...the Vault had never had a murder before, or any real Darkling population, and certainly never any Halves, or collared Halflings...I didn't even know you could collar a Half, maybe no one but Abby could. That thought alone was mind-boggling.

Regardless, I knew it would make it difficult to focus on my studies and practice. It would also make my time with Ailech much shorter, as I didn't want to be around him when any of the others were around, and he would always be with Jordan, who would always be with James, who would probably always be with the rest of their Clan or watching over wild-eyes. But then when I wasn't with Ailech, I would be alone, and I couldn't imagine what I would do if I came across wild-eyes in one of the hallways...or even James...he was collared too after all, which meant Abby thought he was dangerous too, even if he was supposed to be on our side. And then that made me worry more about Kael, and Nevaeh, and Jordan - she was his Pair after all - and though they acted less threatening and the hair on my arms didn't raise when they were near like it did with the others, I still knew what they were, what they wanted to do and had done and could do and would do again. What they were made to do and training to do. So, I still didn't want to run into one of them alone somewhere either, honestly, I didn't want to run into anyone.

I mean, most of them didn't have collars, but I couldn't decide if that meant they were less of a threat, or if it made them more of a threat because they could do whatever they wanted. Like James had done to Grayson. I trusted Abby's collars, though I didn't want to test them, and I trusted Abby...I just worried about who he trusted.

I knew I wasn't big or strong or tough, my talents were only for healing, no damage or way to protect myself, I couldn't even heal wrong or badly to try to hurt someone...but I didn't want to be scared all the time like I was now. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to stop, and the world - even the Vault - was becoming a scarier and scarier place. The Darklings in their increased numbers had only been here a little over a night and a day and I already felt like I couldn't leave my room or the library. I already tasted metallic fear at the back of my throat every time I saw one of them, and I had a constant headache from holding my breath as I peeked around every corner. That couldn't be healthy or good for me, I was probably killing brain cells.

I was too embarrassed to go to Abby, and Ailech would be no help - I didn't think he even understood fear, let alone empathized with it. But then, as I stared at the light wood grain of my desk, safe in my room trying to let the random patterns calm me...my mind went back to Chi. To another who wasn't the biggest or strongest or toughest, who was probably scared all the time too, being surrounded by Halflings when she and her family were much, much weaker...but she handled it somehow, the fear. She wasn't hiding in her room or gagging on the taste or terror. And I didn't feel afraid when I looked at her, or even her huge brothers...maybe she was my answer. Maybe I could go to her for advice.

I jumped from my desk and was across the room in just a few steps. I opened my door to see the wild one stalking down the hallway away from me, his shoulders tense as he headed the direction of his hallway, of all the Darklings' rooms. I shut my heavy door with a muted click, holding my breath until I was back at my desk, and decided that the morning was a much better time for explorations and introductions.

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Sleep. My least favorite necessity when I was out on a mission or hunt. In the best scenarios, it was where I got my instructions - but, in most cases, it was where my master expressed his displeasure or corrections. And being bested by his weak, only-childhood-trained son, made displeasure seem eminent. Nothing had gone according to plan, besides me being in the Vault. And I hadn't exactly followed the rules my master had set for me.