In all scenarios Felix mentioned during their conversation, the only boy Victor saw right there next to him, in each and every one of them, had been Benji. Benji holding his waist as they moved together to a slow song at the school dance. Benji shaking his head and laughing, after Victor had playfully complained that he was the one who should be guiding them (since he was the taller one, but not actually really caring about it). Benji, miles away, answering one of his video calls, excitedly talking about his art classes at college and telling how much he missed him. The thought of not being able to share all of these moments together crushed his heart. Victor wanted to go through all those upcoming stages of his life with Benji. No one else.