A Tyrant Duke has returned from the French Wine Wars, in want of a wife! But his childhood sweetheart, a fairy doctor, and midwife of all the Cotswolds, wants nothing to do with the rich husband chosen for her by the Queen of England! This independent medieval maid and hot-headed knight must settle their lust and resentments on the marital bed, or lose their heads! The Crown is on the line, the Archbishop is watching their wedding night, and soon, enemies will threaten everything the Tyrant Duke and his Fairy Wife hold dear - alongside the very life of their fat "witch's familiar" cat, Tomtongue, who can't stop farting brie! In this wild romp through 1300s England, come find out what happens when oil and flame collide under medieval petticoats!