The universe is an asshole and enjoys its soap operas as much as anyone else. It proves as much by causing the infamous chaos of the Triwizard tournament. Harry knows he's not a genius with endless, calm calculations to end the reign of a monster. So, to survive the stupid situations he finds himself in, he uses a foolproof strategy: Hedwig. Unfortunately, while setting a vindictive snowy owl on adult witches and wizards is amusing, it wouldn't help all that much in this situation. There's also the matter that Snape wouldn't be all that pleased and while Harry has definitely made some questionable choices he's not suicidal. With that plan out of the way, there's only one option left. Desperate times called for desperate measures after all. Meanwhile, the so-called 'adults' of the Wizarding World find themselves at the mercy of a very protective and vindictive Draco Malfoy who has some choice words to say about the matter. Hell Hath No Fury Than A Protective Boyfriend Scorned, After All.