When Butters is whisked away from Kenny's house mid-hangout, Kenny turns to the only person in town that can really get things done - Eric Cartman. It doesn't take long for things to get totally out of hand, and at Cartman's behest the kids of South Park are thrown into a full-fledged reenactment of the Trojan War. It goes about as well as you might expect. This fanfiction is inspired by the TV show South Park, and thus should be seen as an exercise in freedom of speech, and due to it's content it should not be read by anyone. CONTENT WARNING: This story contains the following content that some readers may find upsetting: Anti-Semitism, alcoholism, animal abuse/deaths, blood/violence, corpses, strong language, human death, fatphobia, feces, kidnapping, sexism and slurs. Most characters depicted are minors. Therefore, they are not put into sexual situations. However, there are references to sexual activity that some readers may find distasteful.