Chapter 1: Taking Control of my life

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Ailaoa

The sun was setting the air nipping at my skin, the path down the long narrow street was long but manageable, especially because I was on my way to see him, the man that captured my heart. This fresh new feeling was nothing I've ever felt, I knew I was smiling as I walked past an elder couple that smiled and gave a silent greeting to me, but I wasn't smiling at them I was smiling thinking of him, Alec.

We met when I was a freshman in college and had been with each other ever since. It's been 5 years now and I'm just turning 23, today of course. And from the text message I had got from my boyfriend to meet him at this classic restaurant I knew we where celebrating today. I turned the corner navigating my way down the side walk getting closer to the restaurant I had google maps to help me with directions.

When I stood in front of the doors to the establishment's they where opened for me by the employees that's stood and greeted me taking my coat and scarf before giving me a number cards I briefly told them my reservation name and quickly a hostess guided me into the dinner room, the lights where dim and soft Melodie's played from the jazz band on stage. I continue to look around the building taking in everything as the hostess took me to a somewhat closed off area. And when my eyes landed on my man my heart smiled, he looked handsome was well dressed and had a beautiful smile on his face.

I quickly thanked the hostess as she excused herself, Alec quickly got up and we shared a small kiss before taking our seats, I just stared at Alec taking in his gray suit, that hugged his body just right, I wanted to reach over my grab him by his black tie that rest nicely over his dress shirt and yank him to me to take his lips into a kiss but I reframed and adjusted my stare to his baby blue eyes those that stare up at me in need each time I pounded into his pretty body of his, I shook my head needing to rid myself of these dirty thoughts. And was thankful when over server came over...

Dinner was good and the walk back to our apartments was even nicer, I cherished our
small talk and banter we had together these moments made up for all the bad arguments we would inevitably have. These small moments would always remind me about the man I fell in love with when we first started dating...

Another year pasted but during this year our relationship had become shaky and I couldn't understand why, I love him and would do anything to keep our relationship even if that meant letting other people come into our relationship...I just wanted for him to be happy and I could let him because I knew his heart was mine even if his body wasn't for the time. But I could see as time went by my grasp on his heart was waning, and I was holding on to moments where everything was perfect. But my happy life was tumbling down when I had gotten word that my mother had tragically passed away from a sudden heart attack I couldn't function nor focus on my relationship with Alec. I took a unexpected personal absent from work and had to quickly leave for Montana to lay my mother to rest. I could barely remember my week there in Montana only the long night I spent awake crying for the women who birthed and raised me.

Even as the week ended and I was heading back to the airport heading back home to my shaky relationships but I couldn't even worry about that because the death of my mother was still fresh on my mind and all I wanted was to go home and nestle up in my boyfriends arms for comfort.

When I had gotten home from my long flight from Montana to New York I was already drained and just wanted to sleep in my bed for once, I hauled a taxi and had a long 29 min drive to get to my apartment. When I finally got up to my apartment number I quickly unlocked and stepped into my apartment I could see clothes all over the floor which really didn't bother me because Alec always had a horrible habit of leaving his clothes around the house. What alarmed me was the difference shoe sizes and style of clothing that littered around the floors, I swallowed harshly before taking unsteady strides to the shared room me and Alec had. My heart dropped hearing the moans that Alec made I twisted the knob knowing what I was gong to find and yet was even mortified by the sight, my boyfriend getting fucked by two of my co-workers, my heart broke in the moment and sadness washed over me before full on anger took over. Anger that I had to bury my mother not just a month ago but a few days before and the fact that the man that Was supposed to be in love with me was cheating on me and that I had somewhat enabled this behavior. That night I had fought those men that fucked the man I loved until Alec had to threaten me with calling the police. My breathing was ragged and my heart was bleeding because I had not only lost my mother but I had also lost the love of my life. I could only sit against the wall in the room as I broke into tears, just how could my life have spiraled out of control so fast why couldn't I grasp at it and reel it back in. I didn't say a word to Alec all I could was stare at his baby blue eyes that used to trigger emotions from my heart and now they only brought pain. I stood in front of him not uttering a word he knew what he did was wrong and nothing could be said to fix this.

I found extra luggage bags and quickly started maneuver my clothes into the bags silently my heart slowly solidifying as my emotions slowly start to shut off and my heart became ice. I packed and continue to pack all my clothes and small belongings before carrying most of my stuff out of apartments and down to the garage where my car had sat for week. I loaded my stuff into my car not looking back for once before I left and took off heading for the nearest hotels to stay at for a while.

A couple of days had past before I had to go back into work, I dressed up for the part even though I felt like shit, when I heading into building to start my day I was immediately called into managements office, I immediately spotted the two men I had saw fucking my ex boyfriend and frowned had these bitches really gone to management, I shook my head and took the seat the office head had offered, I already knew where this conversation was going and immediately raised my hand up to stop any words of termination this man was going to say but instead spoke on my own, needing to take back any ounce of control back in my life. I schooled my face keeping a neutral expression as I spoke "Good Morning I'm glad you called me into your office I have been meaning to tell you that I would like to put in my two weeks effective immediately and you don't have to worry I will help make the transition as smoothly as possible and I will also give you my two weeks in writing so if there anything else you would like to say or may I be excused?". My words straight to the point and stoic as I stared at the man across from me he seemed a little taken aback but quickly gathered himself and shook his head, I swiftly stood up and reached out my hand to him as he stood up as well shaking my head before I left out the room not even giving the two stunned men a chance to speak.

From this day onwards I was taking control of my life I wouldn't let anything shake my life like this ever again...

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