MAYBE SOMETHING DARK: LOST LETTERS

1.

...she loves me,
she told me .
she. loves me .
I felt her touch even far from me .
i feel her ,
hear her voice soft and calm
A soft whisper,
a voice that can make a man shiver .
She loves me and she told me
she, told me. passed midnight, in my head she is here , she makes reality seem  unfair and though i see clearly into this midnight sky , and under the stars a wish for us my dearest
for i wishing for a love that isn't mine , a love that lingers in the balance of pleasure and pain , a love that questions if your sane but keeps you trapped in its madness

But to accept life without you is impossible
why would i want to let this part of myself go , why would i give up remembering your
love in both life and death , immortalizing you in such light that no one can imitate
for my heart is bleeding still, with blood that isn't mine
for this is obsession that i feel , that refuses leave without you and though its hard to tell you to stay but still ...
oh i wished forever but not like this, for with love , happiness and peace with YOU with the carelessness of tomorrow, and the beauty of the day when your in it, but the days and night seem lonely without your presence
and i'm grateful to have known your essence

For love is a beautiful snake ,
it moves quietly, and changes with time
and with time she had the best part of me , the part the possessed desire and care , that had love and fear she had the part of me that felt perfection.She was my perfection , her fingers traced my skin perfectly like they were made for that , her smile had me in a world i could not explain, her voice was comfort to my bleeding heart, she had the best part of me , like drugs in my veins i got addicted to the way she made me feel . Then her eyes , i fell for the beautiful dark brown eyes, hypnotized when she stares , look away i couldn't dare and though its not considered love , i could say it was reckless desire for what we knew would happen and yes we were young and knew nothing , we expected everything , joy and pain , lust without shame and a feeling without a name

its poison is addictive as any drug , a taste of human attention and the smooth feeling of acceptance and  you are hypnotized  by its spinning eyes ,but beware the slit on its tongue tells both lies and truth
And although love is poison and love is pain , i had her to loose and the world to gain
but she was like a god in my world so without her all i feel is pain
i needed her right here ,
And yes love is pain but its not fair ,and yes we had intentions but its not clear.
But still love me now that time is here ,
and love me true cause its only fair ,
Kiss me and ease my despair,
Tell me you love in whispers and care ,
for only you can take away these burdens i cannot bare .
For one thing is certain
the world would end and it will fall
the purpose of life is to live and to love in all
to die and to respawn
for i have you in this life ,you have me in the next .
For i have lived and will live again for eternity is ours to gain
For she loved me and then loved herself
she knew me like i knew myself

and now this has become more than i can handle
so i lit  a candle to wish to make a wish to come home , i'm losing hope on this planet full of people but still...,still  alone
but love is the only reason why i can't let go
so i remain patient to hear you call me
my love ,the one who is precious to me like gold but now your touch feels cold upon my skin , in love with the ghost so ill die with a grin
leave that to ponder yet wonder , her words where like spells to me the way she said "always "is what i loved the most
for she loved me and loved me regardless
for the truth of it is , its a lie
the lie is that its real , falling is the easy part and living with it is the hard part
and as everything everywhere she was mine , in body and mind. for she said wait and not stay , she said go but dont leave me , she said love but dont fall , for i have everything but not you so i have nothing and i have heard that love is blind but my love i cant see you and my heart hurts for i must learn to say goodbye.And though i have refused to accept the reality of never, you will always be my forever
for its human to desire what cannot be.
oh i miss the feel of purity, joy and sweet pain,