Et Itur Ad Astra

Side A: Golden Hour, Track 3

Summer 1999, 7 June, Junior Year

Mitsuki had a sombre day at school, the endless clouds mirroring the uncertainty and gloom that dragged her down like lead. She got home early, just as the clock passed five thirty in the evening. Depressed, she lay on the floor staring up at the ceiling, the silence of the empty house echoing through her. At 7 pm, she went downstairs and microwaved the last bit of rice in the fridge, along with leftover oyako-don from two days ago. She sat at the table morosely, hearing no other sounds besides the cicadas and her breathing. She wished the house would fill with happy sounds of times gone by, of family, of love and happiness and warmth. Looking down at the pearly grains in her bowl, she felt tears well up and wrapped Clarie's cardigan tighter around herself. Stop being melodramatic, she told herself. She couldn't stomach dinner, so she cleared her bowl and went back up to her room. Hours ticked by, and she knew she had better things to do, but she couldn't bring herself to divert her attention away from the courage she was trying to create in her heart.

It was 11 pm, and she could hear her mother returning home downstairs. Gulping, Mitsuki snuck downstairs and picked up the telephone, cord swinging as she dialled the number Ms Finch had given her when she'd told her to call her once she'd made her decision. Her fingers trembled as she waited for the call to be accepted. After one ring, the tone went through.

"Hello? Scarlet Finch speaking."

"Um... hello, Ms Finch? It's Mitsuki. From school, Class Ten?"

"Mitsuki? What are you doing up so late?" Ms Finch sounded surprised. Mitsuki could hear the rustle of paper through the line and surmised that Ms Finch was up late marking worksheets.

"Um... I wanted to tell you. About last time, I..."

It was now or never. She inhaled sharply.

"Have you made up your mind?" asked Ms Finch, guiding her to her answer in her customary gentle way. Then again, it wasn't like Mitsuki had much of a choice, but she wasn't going to give Ms Finch a hard time because of it. It was her own fault, after all.

It was like a floodgate had opened up and suddenly tears were bleeding from her eyes, and she was choking up. "I... yeah. I have. I'm switching to the arts stream."

She could practically hear Ms Finch's concern as she stopped Mitsuki and told her to take a couple of deep breaths. "Misty, I know you wanted to continue with the sciences. For whatever reason you had, I know it was important to you. But you have to let it go now, before you go down with this sinking ship. You have to let go, okay? Don't see it as a weakness. See it as a necessity. We have to move forward. Remember that, okay? I'm proud of you."

"Okay. Thanks, Ms Finch," sniffed Mitsuki, brushing away the stray tears that streaked her cheeks. "When can I get the booklist from you?"

"Tomorrow. See me in my office. I'm proud of you for making this decision, Misty. I hope you know that," came the gentle reply. Mitsuki nodded.

"Thank you," she all but whispered, and bade her teacher goodbye. As the hung up the phone, Mitsuki's mother emerged from the shadows of the kitchen.

"Hey there," she said gently to her daughter. "I know it was a hard decision. But I'm proud of you, okay? My lovely daughter." She hugged Mitsuki, stroking her hair as Mitsuki buried her face in her mother's shoulders, staining her shirtsleeve with tears. Then she steeled herself, shook off the pain, and smiled at her mother.

"I'm all good now, Mum. I'm going to bed." She darted upstairs, heart pounding like mad. She had told Ms Finch. Her mother knew now. And now, it was time to tell Tsukito.