Sweetest Fear

CHAPTER 24

I was in the middle of preparing for my date with my son when Mrs. Kim knocked on my door. "Yes, Mrs. Kim?" I asked as I put on my coat. I saw her uneasiness before she started to speak. "Ahm, Miss Sarrah, your father called this morning and-" I closed my eyes and held my hand in front of me, "Please Mrs. Kim, let us not talk about him, even just for today." I interrupted her. I sighed. I know it's rude but I don't want my special day to be ruined. Since the day I left Korea Five years ago. I haven't spoken to him, not even once. I saw Mrs. Kim nodded before she excused herself and went to the kitchen. I still won't forgive him. He tried to ruin my life. The memories of everything that happened five years ago starts to rush in my memories and I can feel the tightening of my chest. No! I should not let that get to me today. I should be happy. I deserve to be happy, even for just today.

After checking if I already have everything I need for our little trip, I carried my son and put him in a the baby car seat. After ensuring his safety, I started to drive. While I was driving, I can't help but glance at the rearview mirror to check up on my son. He is really excited as he keeps on singing his favorite song inside the car. I understand it since it's his first time. I look at the clock and it's only 2:00pm, we still have plenty of time to explore the zoo. The moment we entered the zoo, my baby kept saying, "Whoa! Mommy Look! Look!" He is so full of energy that it is hard for me to keep up, but nevertheless, I am so happy seeing him like this. He keeps dragging me from one place to another and I happily tagged along.

After a few hours of exploring, we went to a nearby restaurant to eat. I ordered spaghetti since it is both our favorite. I watch as he eats heartily that I almost forgot to touch my food. Seeing him eat already makes me full. After eating we continued our adventure. We were busy looking at some pandas when suddenly my phone rang. I rummaged my messy bag and tried to find my phone. I stopped and stared at the screen as soon as I saw that it was an unregistered number. I suddenly felt scared. Something in me tells me that I shouldn't answer it, but what if it's an emergency about work?

I was in the middle of contemplating on whether to answer it or not when it stopped. I sighed in relief. Just in case that the call is important, I texted the number and asked who it was and what does he or she wants before I put it back on my bag and went back looking at the panda. Who could it be? Wait, I should stop overthinking. I should not let anything bother my special day. I should just focus on my son. "That panda is so cute isn't it? It looks just like you when you eat." I teased my son but I heard no reply. I look at the child standing beside me but when he turned to me, he looks different. It's not my son! I felt my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I turn my head around and look for him but I can't find him.

"Min Yonggi! Yonggi-yah! Where are you?" I tried calling his name again and again but there was no response. I am beginning to panic. (I named him Yonggi which means courage in Korean language because I want him to grow up and be braver than me.) People are starting to look at me like I am some kind of a lunatic but I don't care. I need to find him. God! Did I just lose my son in a zoo with a lot of people? What if someone kidnapped him? I felt fear started to sink in. I frantically asked every person I saw while describing my son and what he was wearing but no one has seen a boy with my description. I am beginning to lose hope, I can feel my eyes start to water. I am such an irresponsible mother. I don't deserve to be a mother. I am a failure. I was in the middle of asking some random person when an idea hit me. Right! I need to go to the management office so that they could page for the search of my son. I hurriedly ran to the admin office, ignoring the people I bumped on the way because of my blurry vision.

I was almost at the administration office when I accidentally ran into a man in a black leather jacket that sent me landing on the floor. I apologized as I picked up myself from the ground and ran without preamble. I felt a sting on my hands and knees and I noticed there was a small wound. I ignored it, my focus is finding my son. I am just a few steps away from the administration office door when someone held my arm and stopped me in my tracks. I am ready to snap and bite the person who held my arm and interrupted me but the moment I recognized him my eyes went wide and my heart started beating faster, the way it beats only for him.

"Yoongi." I whispered his name. It's been a long time but nothing has changed in his appearance. "What a coincidence? I never thought I would see you here. So how are you Sarrah Noona?" I felt a shiver run down my spine with the way he whispered my name. I can feel a lot resentment in the tone of his voice. I felt something pierced my heart. I guess he hates me now but instead of answering his inquiries, I removed his grasp on my arm and started walking away. "Not so fast!" He grabbed my arm tighter this time and it hurts. I know I owe him a lot of explanation but I really have no time for this. "Please let me go." I begged as tears stream down my face. I am having a nervous breakdown. I lost my son and the memories that happened 5 years ago are coming to me like a tsunami as I look at him and it tears me up. I saw how his facial expression changed when he saw me crying but he still didn't let me go.

"What happened?" He asked in a softer tone this time. I was about to answer him when I heard a familiar voice. "Mommy!" I snapped my head towards the voice and I saw Yonggi with a big smile on his face while holding a cone of ice cream standing next Jimin. I felt relief the moment I saw him. My son!

"Yonggi!" I rushed towards my son and hugged him real tight. I thought I lost him forever. "Mommy, I can't breathe." I heard Yonggi complained and so I loosened my hug and looked at my son. "You're crying, mommy?" Yonggi asked worriedly as he touched my face. "Yes, because I was worried about you. Where did you go?" I asked. "I saw him alone in front of the penguin's cage. He kept looking around as if he was lost, and I was right. I was about to go to the administration office to inform them of a missing child. I didn't know that he is your son Noona." Jimin informed me. "Thank You, Jimin." I bowed in gratitude.

"What a coincidence to see you here. So how are you, Noona?" He asked me but I saw him glance at the guy standing behind me. I felt my heart palpitated. I am not yet ready for a confrontation like this. I need to run away. "I'm fine, thank you! Ahmmm, I am sorry, but It's getting late. We have to go now." I held my son's hand and was about to walk away but Yoongi blocked our way. "Not so fast. You always kept running away from me, but this time, I won't let you. You and I need to talk." I saw how Yoongi kept throwing glances at my son and it makes me feel uneasy. I have always thought that one day Yoongi and I will meet again, I have thought of a lot of scenarios, but I have never thought that we will meet again today in this way. I am scared, I know that he will be mad at me, no mad is an understatement, if he will learn that I just hid our son from him. I guess the time has come for me to stop running from everything. Now, I really need to face everything I kept running away from, and it will start with Min Yoongi.