You're a Monster | Chenji

XLIX

'It's okay, baby. We will respect that, and your decision won't affect at all our feelings for you.' Jeno said, approaching the shorter and kissing his forehead.

'I-I'm sorry for pressuring you so much... I love you, Renjunnie...' Jaemin squished the shorter in a hug once again.

'However, if you ever change your mind remember it is never too late to ask.' Jeno added.

'Thankyou... I love you two, a lot. Please, don't ever leave me.' Renjun said.

The two vampires cooed and felt their heart soften.

'Don't worry, baby. We will never leave you.' Jeno reassured the human.

Chenle was half unconscious half awake. His body did not respond to his orders, his eyes were still closed and he could only hear and feel. He felt something caressing his face softly, as if someone was holding him in a sweet embrace. He relaxed into the touch and let himself enjoy it, not even trying to move anymore.

He heard voices from the outside, as if someone was talking from the end of a long corridor and their words echoed on the walls.

'Trust me...'

'...together...'

'Please...'

'I'm sorry...'

'I love you...'

'...a lot... don't... leave... me.'

'...never leave you.'

Chenle woke up with those last words. His eyes shot open, immediately catching Jisung's attention.

Chenle abruptly tried to get up as soon as he realised he was in Jisung's arms, but his body didn't have the energy to do so.

'C-chenle... You're awake! I thought you were dead, I was so scared...' Jisung said softly.

Chenle's eyes filled with tears immediately, making Jisung panick once again.

'W-what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Does any part of your body hurt? Jaehyun said you had to drink water!' Jisung remembered Jaehyun's words and immediately handed Chenle a glass. As he saw the older had no energy to hold it himself, he placed it in front of his lips and helped him sip the water slowly.

'Why...' Chenle said quietly, as his throat still felt dry.

'Huh?'

'Why did you help me? Why couldn't you just let me die?!' He said as he hit Jisung's chest weakly. 'Why do you always protect me? Why do you always save me? Why don't you get tired of me, if all this time I've been nothing but a nuisance!'

Jisung stayed silent as he looked down.

'I... I heard you. You and your friends. I listened to your words through the door. Why? Why do you want to protect me so bad? What are you keeping me here for? What do you want from me, Park Jisung?'

Jisung took a deep breath, and answered his question, completely sure Chenle's reaction wouldn't be positive.

'Because... Because I love you, Chenle. I love you so much, it hurts to know someone might hurt you. I don't care if you hate me. I don't. I don't hate you. I will never do. I don't even care if my feelings are one sided, I'm happy as long as you're safe. And I will keep you safe, no matter what it takes. I will always protect you. And even if you try to kill me, even if you betray me or hurt me, I will stay by your side. Because I've never been so in love with someone. You're my first love and you will be my last one, and I'm willing to sacrifice anything, even if it's myself, for you.'

Chenle's eyes started getting teary. However, Chenle kept everything in in order not to break down.

Fuck.

His biggest fear was confirmed. Jisung loved him. He wasn't ready for this. He knew there was no way they could ever be together. It was just impossible. He started thinking of possible ways to escape this situation.

Break his heart. Hurt his feelings until he hates you. He swears he will never hate you, but you know more than anyone the word 'never' is just a meaningless promise that no one can keep.

He breathed in to give himself the strength to do what he thought was best for both of them.

'You're a monster, Jisung. Your only role in this world is to ruin people's lives. You're completely useless to this society, that's why you get killed. You should all disappear. Hell, you should have never existed to start with. We will end you. We will eradicate your species and make this world a better place.' He stopped for a few seconds, waiting for Jisung's reaction. As he saw none, he played a fake smile, even if it was hard for him to say those words. 'What? Did you expect me to say I love you back? I will never love a monster like you. I will never treat you as an equal, because you aren't. If you expect me to appreciate your actions, you can keep waiting until you get tired of it. I don't need your love. I don't need your protection. I never asked for it, you gave it to me yourself, so deal with the consequences. I will never accept a monster's love.'

'Chenle, are you sure I'm the monster?' Jisung smiled back, bitterly. Tears were threatening to spill, but he wiped them before they could freely roll down his cheeks. He was used to getting hurt, but this time it felt much worse. He felt like Chenle had stabbed his heart and was now twisting the knife. He could almost hear the sound of his heart shattering. It affected him so much the pain had become physical. He laid Chenle on the bed softly, getting him off his lap, and then got up, shaking. He left the room without looking behind, not before checking there was a plate with some food for Chenle to eat, and closed the door quietly.

Chenle kept a straight face until Jisung was gone. He sat up against the headboard and hid his face against the pillow, hugging it tightly. He finally let out all of his emotions. He was angry, angry at himself for hurting Jisung so badly, even though the younger did nothing but want to protect him. But he was also hoping Jisung would hate him now, or at least stop loving him. The pillow was soaked with his tears as he cried trying to keep it as quiet as he could. He screamed. He screamed as loud as his heart asked him to and used the pillow to muffle it. Jisung's heart wasn't the only broken one.