"We know there's nothing you like more then a clean house and since you refused to let us buy you anything we had to think out of the box," Maggie says.
"Well, it's just perfect . I love it, you guys are the best," Mom replies.
***
Our morning with our Mom went great. After the whole incident first thing this morning she seemed a lot happier. Maybe it was because she finally said it out loud to someone. We all went out to breakfast at my Moms favorite diner. It was Uncle Josh's present to Mom. After breakfast Uncle Josh told us to just relax all day and he would take care of all the farm work. I protested saying that I could help but he refused and told me he wanted mom to spend the whole day with me and Maggie. So, we did. We watched my moms favorite movies; ate popcorn and candy for lunch, then me and Maggie made dinner for her. It has been a long time since we just laid back and spent the day together it was nice.
I walk out of Maggie's room closing the door gently behind me. I helped her get into bed. She was exhausted from today. I walk down the hall into the living room and place myself next to my mom.
"Did you have a good birthday?" I ask her.
"It was wonderful. I love you." She leans her head on me.
"I'm glad you, deserved it."
She suddenly lifts her head and looks me in the eyes. "How are you doing?" she asks.
"Uh, I don't know what you mean?" I furrow my brows.
"Well, with, you know what. You've been kept to yourself lately and I hadn't asked if you're doing alright, thought I'd ask."
I know what she is referring to now. She is talking about my ability's that randomly appeared two years ago. "I'm fine, I guess. I mean I still have a lot of unanswered questions, but I don't know where I'd even start to look for them. I've been just kind of idling for a while. I would say I'm okay I guess," I respond.
She looks unconvinced. "Just okay? Not to be pushy or rude but this whole thing, it's weird, you know. And I just want you to feel like yourself again and I noticed you haven't sense that day. I love you with all my heart Colt. I think something needs to happen you need to find your answers."
"Did Maggie put you up to this?" I question. Maggie has been nagging me about the same thing for a while now. Saying I should go off on an adventure and find myself, or whatever. I keep telling her that I can not just run off. I have responsibility.
"Uh, she might have planted a seed, but I do agree with her," she states.
"Seriously?" I ask.
"Yeah, Josh agrees with us too," she adds.
"Oh, come on you brought Uncle Josh in on this too. I have responsibility's here I can't just leave to go find answers," I point out.
"I already discussed it with Josh. We both agreed that we can manage for a little while without you," she says.
"You really want me to leave?" I frown.
"Of course I don't want you to leave, honey. But it's what you need. It will be good for you. Of course, I don't want my baby boy running off into the world alone, but I don't have the answers you need. The answers you need to feel okay again. Josh talked to Kathy from church and her son is looking for some part time work. So, we will have some help while you're gone. You need this, don't pretend like you don't. I've been watching you struggle for two years now. You can't wait any longer, it's slowly eating away at you," she says, her voice deep with concern.
I hesitate to answer. I know how right she is, but a part of me doesn't want to know. I don't know why this happened to me. It just appeared out of no where with no explanation, no reason, no cause, nothing. Just one second I'm normal and the next... not even close to it. I have run every scenario I can think of through my head over and over and nothing makes sense. Honestly, I am terrified to know the answer. A part of me doesn't want the answers. Where would I even start to look for answers?
Moms voice snaps me out of thought, "Colton?"
"Oh, sorry," I apologize. It's rare for her to use my full middle name. I must have been zoned out pretty good. Mom hasn't used my full name in a long time and for that matter my first name in... ever? Same goes for Maggie. I only even remember my Dad calling me Faunus, he would also use, Maggie's, first name, Diana. Not once do I remember mom ever using them. Even when she would 'full name' us. She would just do middle and last name.
"I just, this is a lot. I don't know how to process it or where I would start if I do go," I manage to say.
"If?" Mom asks.
"Yes, if, I don't know if I want to go. I-I I don't know if I can. I can't leave Maggie," I struggle to form the words.
"Oh, honey," Mom says, her face laced with empathy, "I understand why, but she wants you to go. She wants you to find yourself again we all do. I know you feel guilty for what happened-,"
I cut her off, "I am guilty, I don't just feel it, I am. It's my fault."
She frowns. "No matter how hard I try I know I won't be able to change you're mind. Show you that it all this weight of guilt doesn't have to be on you. Despite that, this is what we want for you. You're not abandoning us, you'll be back. You won't be gone forever."
"I-I know, but, I-I," tears start to slip out of my eyes, "If something were to happen when I'm gone, I would never forgive myself." I swallow heavily, trying to hold back tears.
She leans against me. I incase her with my arms into a tight hug.
"You can't constantly live your life worrying about us every second. You have to be able to go out into the world and do your own thing. Just do this one thing for us. After if you never want to leave our sides again you don't have to, okay? Deal?" she asks.
I think for a moment, contemplating my options. The last thing I want to do is be apart from them and something happen. But she's right, I need too. I need answers. I grown loudly. "Okay fine, deal, but I don't like this. I don't like it at all. It gives me a bad feeling," I reply reluctantly.
"Thank you, I love you," is all she says and kisses me on the cheek. "We should both get some rest you have planning to do tomorrow for your adventure."
I shake my head at her. "I love you too." I squeeze her tight one last time before I leave to head to sleep, that is if I can now thinking about what is to come. Especially with this bad feeling I have in my gut.
YOU ARE READING
Faunus Wolf
WerewolfSequel to Foster Wolf but from a new characters point of view. *** An 18 year old boy named Faunus Colton Fuller and his mom and 15 year old sister live on their family farm. Their dad disappeared when Colt was 5. *** My adrenalin shoots through...
Chapter 2 "Happy Birthday"
Start from the beginning