"That sounds good. I also feel like I haven't seen you in forever so," She laughed at the end.
"That's true. I miss hanging out with you, like the old times." I brought up as I rubbed my eyes, getting the sleep out of the corners.
"Yeah Harrys been hogging you. It's my turn." Gemma said with a fake pout.
"Give me like an hour to get ready ya?" I questioned her with a smile from her previous remark.
"That sounds good. See you in an hour." Gemma answered.
"See you then." I said, finishing our phone call and hanging up. As I was about to put my phone back on the nightstand I had an urge pass through me. I don't know what caused these urges, but I've been finding out more and more often that there really is no motivation. I stared at my phone, tempted to just look at some of the messages on Instagram.
So that's what I did.
I opened the app and went straight for my dm's. I knew deep down I shouldn't be doing this. I needed to move on and forget about these things, but for some strange reason I felt like I had to read them. There were loads of them. I clicked on some of them reading.
"How could Harry fall for a girl like you. You're so annoying"
"You're so ugly I can't believe Harry chose you."
"You're such a gold digger. I bet you don't even like Harry."
"You should just save both of your guys time and dump him"
"He deserves so much better than you"
And the list goes on and on. I couldn't believe how many there actually were. I started to cry, not like full out sob, but tears were definitely strolling down my cheeks to the point where I could taste them on my lips. I knew there was no use trying to wipe them away, more would just take their place in a matter of seconds. I couldn't stop it as much as I wanted to. I shouldn't be crying, I knew that everything they said wasn't true, but they really make me feel like they are.
Other than feeling secure in my feelings for Harry, I have never been comfortable with my body and emotions, so I second guess everything about myself which doesn't help. Of course, since I never tell people anything, no one knows the thoughts inside my head when it comes to stuff like that. I couldn't help but think that the fans were right.
The tears streamed down my face as I slowly got up from the bed and wandered over to the closet that Harry and I share. I was quick to pick out some skinny jeans and one of Harry's sweatshirts which then I changed into.
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I've been finding myself wearing Harry's shirts more lately. Sometimes because they smell like him, but mostly to hide my body from anyone and everyone who looks my way. No one really questions it, if they do, they think it's cute that I'm wearing my boyfriend's clothes and not because I'm trying to hide anything, which I am.
