𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐀, d.osamu | ✓

𝟬𝟬𝟰

Maya took a sip of her water, "My father was a good man, he died an honorable man,"

"Even though he was Port Mafia?"

"Even though he was Port Mafia," repeated Maya. She looked him dead in the eye, "What's your special ability, Dazai?"

He hummed, a playful grin cutting through his features, "Why do you ask?"

The girl in front of him shrugged, bitting her lip hard, "Just because. The Agency wouldn't hire a crackhead like you for just your brains, honestly."

He drummed his fingers against the wooden table they were seated at. "My ability is called No Longer Human,"

"Cool. What's it do?"

"It nullifies the ability of others upon direct contact,"

"Wow,"

She was going to say that he was probably the most powerful human being on earth because of his special ability but the waiter walked in with their orders, interrupting her from "saying" anything.

The pastry that was placed it front of her wasn't even given a second look before a spoon cut through its soft surface and was eaten ruthlessly. And by god, was the pastry amazing. But it wasn't really surprising, any chocolate cake or pastry or chocolate itself was amazing; but every time she had chocolate, it made her want to praise the person who came up with chocolate relentlessly.

Dazai watched with raised eyebrows as Maya made short work of the pastry, scrapping the last of the chocolate off the plate before he could take a bite of his own share. Then, as she smacked her lips clean of the chocolate icing and whatever was left of her cherry chapstick, she looked at his plate and then at him.

"You gonna eat that?"

He snickered and pushed his own plate towards her, which she took without wasting time. As she was half-way through with her pastry, he asked, "Hey, Maya-chan, would you like to do a double suicide with me?"

She stopped eating and swallowed the morsel that was in her mouth. "Why with me?"

"Well, I wish to die with a beautiful woman. You're beautiful, so yes, I want to die with you. Only if you wish, of course. So—" he leaned against the table, "—would you like to die with me, Maya-chan?"

Maya shrugged, going back to her pastery, "Dunno,"

The corners of his lips turned upwards. She was the the first person to give him an actual answer and not a snarky remark or a disgusted squeal. It wasn't a yes, but it was better than a straight no.

Maya didn't dare look up at him. The only reason she said "Dunno" was because she really didn't know. Any sane person wouldn't want to die, obviously, but some part of her did. She wasn't sure she really wanted to die, it was more like a wish to cease existing. But to stop existing meant to die and she didn't want to die. She didn't want to disappear because people hated her or anything atrocious like that-a lot of people liked her, loved her even, however, her want to disappear was a selfish one and she didn't want to be selfish. Now, she couldn't make the selfishness go away, all she could do was accept it just like she accepted the fact that her father was dead, her grandma was dead, her best friend was dead and now her late father was being replaced. But saying she had embraced and accepted all of that would be lying to herself and she didn't like lying no matter how much she did it.