Worthy of Affection

Soft white droplets of snow gently drift from the sky, painting anything it touched to the purest of shades. The two males huddled by the fire were spared from the raging cold that laid a mere wall away, a blanket of wool draped their shoulders, forcing them to move even closer to one another if it were possible. Kaworu quietly grasped his lover's hand in his paler ones, placing a ghost of a kiss on his rough knuckle. He traced his thumb over it, feeling scratches litter his beloved's skin, the very thought of Shinji getting hurt caused Kaworu to frown.

"I thought your father let you off those horrid training sessions, look what it's done to you." Taking both of Shinji's hands into his own, Kaworu examined them with a saddened gaze, caressing them with such caution as one would hold a new-born. Shinji's face reddened at Kaworu's actions, half tempted to pull away and hide to avoid his embarrassment, though he also never wanted his lover to let go.

Taking a deep breath, Shinji basked in Kaworu's affections before sighing, "it's not that bad, I don't even feel it that much anymore. Father said it'd help me become a better pilot and a stronger fighter... I just want to be of use, Kaworu. No matter how much I try, I always fail despite how much I fight. I don't know how much more I can take..." The Eva pilot began to feel his eyes well with hot tears, quickly parting from Kaworu's hands in order to get rid of them.

Although Kaworu still had a hard time understanding Lilian emotions, the pain and anguish he felt in his heart whenever Shinji was upset was unmistakable. He always devoted his entire being to aid his boyfriend whenever this would occur, nothing else mattered to him in the moment. Kaworu raised his hands to lovingly cup Shinji's face, mustering the kindest smile he could, not once breaking eye contact as he spoke.

"Shinji, dear, I doubt you could ever comprehend how much you mean to me. Never have I felt this strongly for another being, no less a Lilian, than I have with you. My heart swells whenever you are near, I wish to hold you for every waking second and remind you of how precious you are. I am happiest whenever I am by your side, there is nothing I wish for other than your happiness and wellbeing. You may not realise it, but you are of such use and value, especially to myself. Every moment we spend together I wish could last forever, so please, look after yourself more. Do not let your father use you so aimlessly, especially if it ends up with you being hurt. I love you, Shinji."

Kaworu ends his speech by softly connecting his lips with Shinji's, a short and sweet seal of his love for the boy. Every emotion known to man raced through Shinji as Kaworu's lips parted from his, for once he had finally felt total, unconditional love. The sweetest of sensations that he never wanted to end.

Shinji had finally regained his composure before smiling at his lover, wanting to share that same feeling with him. "Thank you, Kaworu, you're too kind to me, I don't know how I could ever make it up to you. I... I love you, too."

Kaworu's face brightened as he leaned closer to Shinji once again, giving him one final kiss before holding him in a warm embrace. "That's all I need, my love."

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hi! so this is my first time posting a fanfic ever so i hope you like it! please comment any thoughts or criticisms/advice so i can improve, thank you for reading! cover art by kittiepng on tumblr!