Riordanverse Oneshots, Rants and More

Riordanverse Characters as Disney Quotes

-Soul

Frank, to Leo at some point: I have compassion for every soul. Except you. I don't like you.

-Soul

Lavinia: Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?

-The Lion King 

Nico, staring into the non-existent camera with a blank face, with the Seven posing as Avengers in the background while sea monsters attack their ship: I'm surrounded by idiots.

-The Lion King

Will and Magnus: I have... mAgIc hAiR tHaT gLoWs wHeN i sInG!!

[No further context required.]

-Tangled

Magnus: Where are you from?

Samirah: Woah woah, sorry blondie, I don't do backstories; however, I am becoming very interested in yours.

Samirah: Now, I- I know I'm not supposed to mention the hair-

Magnus: Nope.

Samirah: Or the mother...

Magnus: Uh-uh.

Samirah: Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog...

Magnus: Chameleon.

Samirah: Nuance.

[Just pretend he had a stuffed chameleon or something, I don't know-]

-Tangled

Aphrodite: [Piper], look in that mirror. You know what I see? I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady... Oh look, you're here too!

-Tangled

Luke: How did you find me?

Percy: Oh, it was easy, really, I just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.

-Tangled

Carter, narrating: And for that one moment, everything was perfect... And then that moment ended.

-Tangled

Magnus: Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one.

-Mulan

Leo, to Jason and Piper during their first quest, probably: I'm travel-sized for your convenience!

-Mulan

Coach Hedge: Okay, people, people, look alive! Let's go, come on, get up! Let's move it! Rise and shine! You're all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me!

-Mulan

Lester, watching Meg fight with tears of pride dripping down his cheeks: My little baby, off to destroy people.

-Mulan

Mr. D to the campers: No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of trainin', so listen to your teacher and no fightin', play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt.

-Mulan 

Zia, to Sadie: We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions!

-Mulan

Rachel, while messing around with new campers: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! We're definitely gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming!

-Mulan

Percy, making a cameo in literally every series: Let me illuminate you on the precarious situation you've found yourself in. I am the one they call when things go wrong, and things have indeed gone wrong.

-Lilo and Stitch

Annabeth: I'm gonna STUFF you in the blender, push "puree," then BAKE you into a pie and FEED IT TO THE SOCIAL WORKER! And when he says, "MMMM, this is GREAT, what's your SECRET?" I'm gonna say "LOVE AND NURTURING".

-Lilo and Stitch

Tyson: I was late because I had to feed my pet fish a peanut butter sandwich :(

-Lilo and Stitch

Anubis, trying his level best to come up with a good joke: Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead!

-Up

Annabeth, after seeing Percy in his praetor robes for the first time: This is a hobo suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it.

-The Incredibles

Bes: Honey?

Tawaret: What?

Bes: Where's my super suit [dwarf pride Speedo]?

Tawaret: What? 

Bes: Where is my super suit?!

Tawaret: I, uh, put it away.

Bes: Where?

Tawaret: Why do you need to know?

Bes: I need it!

Tawaret: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no daring-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months!

Bes: The public is in danger!

Tawaret: My evening's in danger!

Bes: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!

Tawaret: "GREATER GOOD"? I am your WIFE! I'm the "GREATEST GOOD" you are ever gonna get!

-The Incredibles