Feelings

16: Tears

"Now." When he says it like that, you know he means business.

She walks over, defeated. Before they both leave, Wren takes one last longing look at her skateboard. The room is filled with noise once the teacher is gone. I sit awkwardly next to Zoe, waiting for her to say something. She gets up and leaves. Probably to use the washroom. Out of pure curiosity, not because I'm a creepy stalker, I follow her. I'm actually good at tailing Zoe without her noticing me. As I sensed, she passes the washrooms. Where else could she be going?

I follow her to a 3-way intersection. Zoe goes left, into the hall where it stops after 3 metres for some reason. I stay behind the corner. That place is a dead end, what would she be doing? Then I hear her crying. Crying quietly. Most students don't go here. This place doesn't have any lockers or doors. No one would find Zoe crying here. The feeling I felt when I saw Wren crying is back, but worse, because it's my fault Zoe's crying. I have to fight every instinct to come out of hiding and comfort her, like Wren. But if I did that it'll only worsen things because no one is supposed to be here except her. Saying sorry isn't enough to make Zoe feel better. Her heart got broken, or at the very minimum almost broken as soon as it started getting better.

Now she's whimpering and groaning, like she's hurt. I have to see to see if she's actually hurt so I step out. Zoe's sitting against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest. Her coily hair covers her face and she has a hand gripping the area around where her heart would be. Her heart? I could go back behind the corner because she isn't looking up, but then she sniffles and looks up. Crap.

"What the fuck, Jae?" Zoe whispers. Ouch. She never talked like that to me, ever. I did follow her to this place when I definitely should not have. "Why can't you leave me alone? You already hurt me enough."

Those words hit me hard. I have no idea how I'm supposed to respond. "Uh, I-I'll leave." Her glistening eyes follow me until I round the corner and can't see her anymore. Putting as much distance between me and Zoe's current state is definitely my highest priority. Luckily, Mr. Tran hasn't come back yet. Alex is sitting in Zoe's seat.

He crosses his arms. "I see you now understand how Zoe really feels about it." Seems like he must've seen me tail her. "Man, you messed up big time."

"What was I supposed to do?" I shoot back. "I can't be with Zoe if I still like Wren."

"Being with Zoe was definitely possible. But a crush is still a crush. I see how you-"

Mr. Tran walks in with Wren. "Okay, class! I'm sure that was more than enough time to chat with your friends. Alex, go back to your seat. And where's Zoe?"

I really don't want to be the one to answer oh, she's out in the hallway crying 'cause I broke her heart, but I know nobody else is going to answer. "She's in the washroom."

"Thank you, Jae," Mr. Tran says. "We have one last book report presentation to watch. Wren, please come up."

Wren leans back in her seat. "Left it at home."

"You left it at home," repeats Mr. Tran, spitting out the words like they're disgusting. He crosses his arms and sighs. "You're staying one more hour after school. And I know you don't have any extracurricular activities to attend."

"Shit," Wren mutters as everyone oohs. Afterwards, Zoe walks in, hugging herself like she's cold.

Mr. Tran looks confused. "Zoe, are you ok?"

She sniffles and nods.

"Not sick or anything?"

She shakes her head. Maybe she's too upset to talk.

"Ok. Go back to your seat."

Zoe silently heads to her seat next to me. I want to move seats so that I'm far from Zoe. If I have to be reminded every day that I messed things up with her, that'll suck. I miss her energy. I miss the lively chats we used to have that are now replaced with silence. But I have to push forward with the plan. Asking out Wren is still what's going to happen. The only issue now is that Wren's most likely staying in detention after school. Once Wren gets out, it might be too late to do the ice-skating thing.

Wren leans over to me. "She totally cried."

"Mhm." As if I didn't know. "Wren you're staying in detention after school, right?"

She sighs. "Yeah. Two hours, now. I even have to stay in at lunch."

Can't ask at lunch, then. "Is there, um, some way that you can sneak out?"

"Oh, you want me to?" Wren's cute, tilted head dazzles me.

"Um, uh..." Ok, why did I just forget what I was going to say? "Uhh, I need to tell you something."

Wren's eyes roll as she thinks. "Remember how you waited under my window?"

I nod. "Yeah?"

"The detention room has a window on the west side of Southview," she explains. "Wait there for me after school."

"Ok, ok." My nodding is frantic. It's set now and a clock in my head starts ticking down.

6 hours...