The Bucket List

- Introduction -

He hummed at that, the vibration from the clippers giving his sensitive head a headache. He tried to zone out and for a moment he thought he was successful. He only heard the clippers shaving off his hair but didn't feel it.

He looked to the floor to find long pieces of hair on the tile. The color matched his, but it was far longer and curlier.

His head snapped up, the hair on the side of Rainn's head already gone. His hands latched onto her wrists, desperately trying to stop her. "What are you doing!?" He rasped, horrified at what she had done.

Calmly, she turned off the clippers to say to him, "I may not be able to fight this with you, but I'm with you. You're not alone in this."

A sob caught in his throat, but he didn't cry. Unbeknownst to each other, they made promises to themselves they had to be strong for the other one."You don't have to do that. Your hair is so pretty, don't do this just for me."

She smiled softly at him. "It's a little late to go back now. I want to do this. I'm doing this."

He opened his mouth to plead with her otherwise again, but she cut him off by placing the clippers in his hands. He looked at her, exasperated.

"It's not like you can mess it up." She reminded him.

She sat crisscrossed at his feet and he silently got to work on her hair. By the end of it, she could tell his weak hands were shaking, despite his best attempts to hide it. Grief, relief, pain, and exhaustion were all at play.

She stood from the ground and realized they both hadn't seen what they looked like yet. "Wanna look together?"

He sucked in a deep breath and nodded his head. They kept their gazes on the floor until they counted down, "3... 2... 1..." and they looked up at the mirror.

And they laughed.

"We're bald!" Rainn cackled, running her hands over her smooth head.

"I look like Mr. Clean!" Alex wiped the tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

•••

That was the last good laugh they shared together. The following week, Alex went in for some tests.

On the outside, his expression was blank. He muted out the sobs from his mom, his gasp from his sister, and pleading his dad had with the doctor. The doctor's words splintered inside of him, causing more pain than the cancer.

Terminal. Hospice. Comfort care only. His life from here on in is four walls and pain medication until he died.

Last year, his family had to put down their cat to save her from a a painful end. He couldn't help but wonder why couldn't he have the same?

He was supposed to see his best friend, Grayson, in three months to celebrate his birthday at a Red Wings hockey game. He hadn't seen Grayson in months, his new career making it challenging. How was he supposed to tell him the news he may never see him again?

Grayson practically lived at their house when they were kids. The three of them all bickered like siblings but loved each other like siblings just the same.

The following day, he gave that responsibility to Rainn. Though due to his work schedule he couldn't always answer, she had been keeping Grayson up to date on everything that had been happening with her brother through voicemails and texts. For that, Alex was grateful.

After her phone call with Grayson, Rainn shuffled over to Alex's bedside. She swallowed hard and whispered to him, "I'm sorry we can't go to the game."

Though he was weak, shaky, and it took him nearly all of his remaining strength to do so, he placed his hand on his sister's shoulder. She eyed his hand for a moment, noting it wasn't the hands she was used to. His hands used to be big, strong, tan, with smoothed skin. Now they were frail, weak, sickly pale, and covered in puncture marks from IV's.