Your Sunshine {H.S.}

Chapter 5

"I didn't make you come twice right?" He asks again and I laugh louder.

"I don't know, did you?" I tease him and lean down and start kissing his neck.

He moans when I suck in that weak spot I know makes him go crazy, and I smile against his neck knowing how much power I have over him right now.

I take my face off his neck and get off of him when I feel his hands on my bare ass.

"What are you doing?" He asks, totally confused.

"Oh, I have to use the bathroom." I get up from the bed, take the t-shirt I slept on that was in the corner of the bed and put it back on as I walk to the bathroom.

"You are the devil," he screams at me when I get into the bathroom.

Once I pee I get to the sink to brush my teeths. I look at myself in the mirror and as always I get lost in my thoughts.

Suddenly I get a flash of green eyes and a smile from cherry lips.

This is not the first time this has happened to me. The sudden images of things is something I'm used to, but most of the time when they happen I never know what they are. Some are new, but others are almost the same.

I have a recurrent one of a room with canvas and paints all over. I always assume it's my old studio.

This one however is new. It's the first time I see a person in them.

I close my eyes at the sudden images that go through my head. When I open them again I jump scared when I see Andrew standing behind me though the mirror.

"Jesus," I murmured, leaning in the sink to spit the toothpaste and then watching my mouth.

"You okay?" He asks and stands behind me putting his hands on my hips and pressing his chest on my back.

"Yeah, I just got a bit dizzy." I smile at him looking at his eyes through the mirror.

He makes me turn around and then lifts me up to sit on the counter. He brings his hand to my face and gently brushes my bangs off my eyes. He brought his other hand to my face and put them on each side making me look up to his eyes.

His gentle touch always makes me relax, it's an effect he has had on me since we started dating.

"Sweetheart," he calls me.

"Yes?"

"What 's wrong?" He asks with eyes full of concern.

I froze, not expecting him to ask me that.

Sure I've been keeping some things to him, but not because I don't trust him. I'm scared of telling him.

If I tell him, he'll be concerned about me, he'll be another reminder of all the things going on in this damaged head of mine.

He won't be a distraction anymore.

I close my eyes to avoid tears from falling out of them. I sigh and take his hands out of my face and put them in my lap.

"I'm just thinking again," I say as I play with his hands on my lap. He doesn't say anything, waiting for me to take my time to talk again. "About everything you know," I look up at him and I see him looking closely at me.

"The bad thoughts," he asks and I feel his voice tremble in fear for my answer.

"No," relief washed through his face. "Just about everything and everyone I can't remember." I confess.

Looking into his eyes and seeing how much he cares for me makes my heart ache.

I feel selfish for feeling sad and frustrated about something that is not coming back. The past is in the past, even if I remember it, there's nothing I can do about it.