Part Twenty-One - Part One

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Part Twenty-One - Part One

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With every step heavier than the last, I drag myself into the house, tuning out the clamor from the living room. My legs feel like lead as they carry me up the stairs. I avoid eye contact with anyone, afraid that if I see even one face, I might lose control. At my bedroom door, a sudden thought strikes me—my mother hides a bottle of brandy in one of the kitchen cupboards.

After a hasty search, I find the brandy. The cold glass chills my fingers as I shuffle back to my room. I push the door closed behind me and lean my head against the wood, relishing the brief darkness that envelopes me.

Normally, I push past the hurt and move on within a week. But this? This is different. It's as if a knife twists inside me, a pain reminiscent of the day my father left us for some blonde bimbo. I unscrew the cap and take a long gulp of the liquor. The fire it ignites down my throat is a harsh welcome, but I drink more, tears flowing uncontrollably.

Nothing matters anymore. This is the end. All hope has drained away. I collapse onto the carpet, the room spinning around me. My eyes are probably bloodshot from crying.

A sudden voice pierces the silence. "Dale?"

I groan, irritation bubbling up. What more could Gale want? A reminder of how he turned my world upside down?

A knock follows, but I remain silent. The door creaks open, and Gale steps in, his eyes scanning the room before resting on me. His gaze lands on the brandy bottle beside me, and his face pales.

"What's going on?" Gale's voice is tinged with concern. "Why are you on the floor?"

"What does it look like?" I snap back, my voice sharp. "Just enjoying myself."

His eyes widen at the sight of the bottle. "Are you drinking?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I retort, frustration bubbling over. "You never told me you're gay. You acted like I had a disease when I came out. Isn't that a bit ironic?"

Gale's face drains of color. He closes the door behind him and sits on the edge of my bed, his posture rigid. "How did you find out?" His voice barely rises above a whisper.

"It doesn't matter how I found out!" I yell, watching him flinch. "You lied to me! You made me feel worthless! What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry!" Gale's voice rises with frustration. "I was scared, alright? What do you think will happen when everyone finds out I'm queer? Don't make me feel worse just because you're having a hard time!"

"Scared?" I repeat, bitterness seeping into my voice. "You think you're the only one dealing with fear? You made me feel like a burden. And now you expect me to just accept it?"

Gale's gaze falls to the floor, his fists clenching tightly. "I didn't know how to handle it. I was trying to figure things out before telling anyone. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Figure things out?" I laugh bitterly. "You mean keeping me in the dark while everything I thought was real turned out to be a lie? That's not just figuring things out. That's betrayal."

Gale's face flushes with shame and frustration. He paces near the edge of my bed, his eyes avoiding mine. "I didn't want to hurt you. I was trying to protect myself from the fallout. I didn't realize how much damage I'd cause."

I push myself upright, the room tilting as anger and alcohol mix inside me. "Protect yourself? You used me as a shield while you sorted out your mess. And now you expect me to just get over it?"

Gale stops pacing, turning to face me. His expression is a mix of desperation and regret. "I know I made mistakes. I can't undo what's happened, but I want to be honest with you now. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I just want to be upfront."

"Upfront?" I almost choke on the word. "You should have been upfront from the start. This isn't something you can fix with a few apologies. It's going to take more than that to mend what's been broken."

Gale's face is pale, eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and resignation. "I understand that. But I don't know what else to do right now. I'm just trying to make amends, to show you that I didn't mean to hurt you."

The room feels stifling, the silence heavy with unresolved tension. I stare at the empty bottle, feeling like I'm trapped in a storm with no way out.

"I needed honesty," I say, my voice trembling. "I needed you to be upfront, not leave me to suffer in ignorance. Now I'm left with nothing but this overwhelming sense of betrayal."

Gale's expression softens, but his remorse does little to ease my pain. "I get that now. But I didn't know how to handle it. I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I hope, eventually, you can understand that I didn't want to hurt you."

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. "Understanding isn't something that comes easily when trust has been shattered. I need time to process all of this. To deal with the fact that everything I believed in is now a lie."

Gale's shoulders slump, his face showing a mix of sympathy and frustration. "I get it. I'll give you the space you need. Just know that I'm here if you need to talk or if there's anything I can do."

I turn away, unable to face him. "Yeah, thanks. I guess that's all I can ask for right now."

Gale hesitates by the door, his face etched with regret. "I hope you find some peace, Dale. And maybe someday, you'll be able to forgive me."

The door closes softly behind him, leaving me alone in the dimly lit room. The silence feels oppressive, filled with the echoes of our argument. I sink back onto the floor, the weight of betrayal heavy on my shoulders. The pain is raw, and the future seems uncertain. For now, I'm left alone with my thoughts, struggling to find a way forward.

Minutes pass slowly as I remain on the floor, the room still and silent. The alcohol has dulled the pain momentarily but hasn't provided real comfort. I stare at the empty bottle, tears flowing freely. The future seems bleak, and I'm left to confront the reality of my shattered trust, trying to make sense of the chaos engulfing my life.

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