Decisions, Decisions.

Part 5

Alan moved to him, and took his hands from his face. I couldn't help but watch in heartbreak as he wiped the tears away with the thick of his palm. "I'm sorry." Austin's words were small, but I could see the part of Alan who responded largely to him.

"I know." He said, and I couldn't help but move away from the two lovers. I had no place here. I never did.

I had barely moved when Alan's head snapped up to me, "Where are you going?"

I shrugged a little, feeling inadequate. "I jus-I figured I'd go." Maybe Vic was still here. Maybe he'd let me stay at his house and be a baby about the whole thing. The idea of telling Vic what had happened was suddenly very appealing.

"No, stay." He moved over to me, pleading. "I want you to."

I was confused a moment, and shook my head. "No, I need to-" I was cut off by Alan kissing me again. I damned the butterflies that swirled in my chest straight to hell. His lips were soft but persistent against mine. His hands held my face, our bodies close together. When he let me go I could see pain in him, and I blamed myself for that. This whole mess was my fault. Why had I blamed Austin? I was the one who forced myself on him.

I pulled away to look at him. I couldn't read his face, but it wasn't one of pain. "I'm so sorry, Aus, I-" he cut me off.

"No, he's right." I balked at his words, "Stay." I saw...something come over his face. He walked towards me and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

This only furthered my confusion. What's going on?

I turned to face him only to have Alan's hands bring me back to kiss him again. I felt Austin move behind me, and begin to nibble at my neck. My heart rushed inside of me, is this really happening? What kind of kinky freaks had I stumbled upon?

When I was younger, I asked myself if I could ever truly participate in a threesome, without being weirded out. I suppose now I knew my answer.

I definitely could.

Alan's arms wrapped around my neck, still kissing the breath right out of me, and I let my arms move down to rub his hips. Austin's hands were working on the buttons of my pants, while his hips pushed into me from behind. I could feel him growing in his pants. He wasn't conpletely hard...yet.

I pulled Alan's hips against mine, and the sensation of both of them grinding against me pulled a moan from deep in my body. I really hoped Alan had flicked the lock.

I unbuttoned Alan's shorts and let them drop to the floor around our feet like Austin had just done for me. I felt Alan reach behind me and undo Austin's black skinny jeans and his joined our pants on the floor.

Alan turned me around and pushed me to climb on Austin's desk, facing him. Austin came behind Alan and bent him over slightly, rubbing his as s through his boxers. Alan just looked at me deviously, an open smirking grin dominated his face. He reached out to me putting his hands in my boxers to pull me out and stroke me. I let out a sigh at being touched. All the tension was slowly leaving my body. This had me keyed up in other, better ways. Austin had moved behind his desk to rummage around for lube and condoms in his bottom drawer (why the bottom drawer you may ask? Well, he needed it for his 'bottom' a.k.a me, so he teased that it only made sense to put them in his bottom's draw, his bottom drawer.)

He returned a second later, tugging his own and Alan's boxers down, and Alan got the hint to remove mine. I could hear both of them breathing heavily, and knew my breathing probably matched theirs. I watched eagerly as Austin gave the lube to Alan to rub on his fingers, and himself. Austin took over the duty of stroking me, while Alan moved to prep me. I lay myself back against his desk, and closed my eyes as I felt Alan push a finger in me. He moved it in and out gently, curling it slightly, before pushing in another and doing the same. I whined, and Alan chuckled lightly, "Impatient."

I moved my hips against his hand as Austin let go of me to put on a condom and prepare Alan. Jealous twinged in me knowing Austin was going to fu ck Alan. I wanted to make Alan feel pleasure, not him. So I made a silent promise to make Alan come. For me, from me. Not Austin. Meanwhile, Alan hadn't really taken his eyes off me. He leaned down to kiss me once.

"Ready?" he asked me quietly, he let out a groan clenching his eyes shut. I knew then that Austin had really begun to finger him, and that made me more eager to get him inside of me.

"Uh-huh." I nodded and he shuffled closer, sliding me off the desk slightly for better access. I closed my eyes, waiting for him as he slid into me. We both let out moans.

"Ugh, Kells.." It felt nice to hear Alan moan my name. This was the first time we'd slept together. I didn't know how to feel about it..but I was glad we were finally getting around to it.

"Fu ck.." I let out a long moan. All the sudden my body was pushed backwards.

"Oh god!" Alan exclaimed. Austin had pushed himself into Alan hard, so hard he'd moved me. I had to admit it felt really good to finally have him move inside of me, so I whined and moved my hips.

I know, I whine a lot. I'm a whiny bit ch, whatever.

That's when it started to get good though. Austin started moving himself in Alan, and Alan in me. Austin's thrusts moved Alan even harder inside of me. I had to put a hand over my head to hold the desk. If they kept thrusting as hard as they were, I could very well fall off.

Austin was grunting and sighing, gripping Alan's hips, and Alan was whispering obscenities and kissing me gently. He's so affectionate, maybe he doesn't even like me. He's probably just pre-

"Oh God!" While Austin and Alan were being quiet, I couldn't help my moans from slipping our. How they held it in, I would never know. This all felt so that good. Alan filled me so well, and they both looked so erotic moving on top of me.

I felt both of them speed up, their thrusts in a rhythm. Austin grabbed my hips to pull me to Alan, and Alan to him. His hands were rough with me, but Alan's were gentle when he reached down to stroke me. Alan was leaning down so closely I could see the stripes of black in his deep brown eyes.

"Alan-" I was cut off by my own moan.

"Kells," he sighed, he looked like it took everything in him to keep himself up straight. It must feel nice to be in the middle. "You feel so good.."

His hand sped up, and I could feel his and Austin's thrusts becoming more erratic. "Oh god. I'm.. I'm gonna.." Austin groaned, "Fu ck." He finished in Alan.

"Oh my god, oh my god," Alan repeated it again and again as he kept thrusting in me and stroking me.

He had brought me right to the brink. He made me feel amazing, and he was so big inside of me. I felt the buildup, it was about to happen. "Fu ck, Alan!" I cried one last time as he stroked me down from my high. My breathing was heavy as he thrust into me a few more times before cu mming with a few whispers I couldn't make out.

After he finished though, I was reminded of my previous feelings. Yeah, the sex was great, but I didn't belong. Once again I'd been manipulated by these two, and it didn't feel good.

Stupid, I couldn't help but mentally berate myself for this. They didn't want me, and I let them both share ins my body. Again. Alan and Austin had kept a quiet chatter as we all got dressed. They both seemed fine, but inside I felt sick.

I tried not to think about the way Austin probably made Alan feel, the way Alan felt about Austin. I wanted Alan to feel that way about me. If that's selfish, so be it. I am apparently the most selfish person I know.

I tried not to make any eye contact as I slid on my beanie. I felt like holing up in clothing, my room, books, and music until I came out of this stupid slutty phase I was going through.

I decided, maybe that was for the best as I slipped as unnoticeably as I could out of the door.

Alan didn't come after me.
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