TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death

Chapter 1: TommyInnit The Courageous Vigilante Who Constantly Avoids Death

"No," He replies, his heel digs into the pavement. "But I can jump."

He leaps off of the ground, soaring high. Tommy lets out a noise of surprised elation, laughing in disbelief as is momentarily suspended in the air.

This is so pog.

Then he remembers that he is in fact not flying and is falling fast. He yelps and barely catches onto the railings, scraping half his body on the way down. He winces.

He can hear the ugly men trying to clamber after him and quickens his pace, climbing up the bars with practised agility.

The teenager is already steps ahead of them as he makes his way onto the top of a small bakery. They sell good muffins and the owner always gives Tommy one on the house so he makes sure to tip toe over the roof.

As he jumps onto another building, Tommy smirks as he realises he has lost them.

Hah. No one catches TommyInnit lacking. Not in this economy.

Tommy sighs, exhaustion catching up to him as the adrenaline wears out. He crouches down and sits over the edge of a florist shop. His legs dangle over the edge and he lifts his mask to scratch his chin.

Tonight's patrol was kind of intense. His back aches after one guy threw a banana at him. Honestly what the fuck. Why was that banana so big? Where did he even get that banana?

Tommy feels a buzz on his ass and realises he's been sitting on his phone. He pulls it out.

15 missed calls and 34 texts.

Tubbo is going to defenestrate him. He's going to have to replace another window.

Tommy sighs and puts his phone on Do Not Disturb. It's a problem for future Tommy. Who is not present Tommy.

Tommy is brought out of his thoughts by the sound of shouting. He almost thinks it's the thugs, back again for more.

But no. He could recognize those voices anywhere.

It's - It's three of the top ten heroes! Tommy's fanboy heart soars. His favourite heroes! In his area, in his patrol area.

This- this is a miracle . A blessing . A gift from the Gods .

"Hey, you! What are you doing on that building?"

This is a problem.

Tommy stumbles to his feet, almost falling off the edge of the shop.

What should he say? Oh god, oh god.

He deepens his voice, "Oh you know, just, uh, patrolling the area."