You Must Remember This

Chapter 15 - Faux pas

Wakanda, 2016

Somehow, Bucky felt better. The migraine still hurt like hell, but it wasn't killing him anymore. The little things Black Widow did to help worked. And talking about Evelyn did too. The pain grew worse at first, up to the point where Bucky wished for a bullet in his head just to make it all stop. But then, it slowly ebbed the more he spoke of her. Natasha was right; Evelyn was his pain but also his cure.

"How are you feeling?" asked the former assassin as she put another wet cloth on Bucky's brow.

"Better." He grimaced. "Kind of."

"Good. Now, you wanna tell me a bit more about your girl?"

Bucky met Natasha's amused and somewhat curious expression.

"She wasn't my girl," he spoke flatly.

"Right, and I'm not Russian. Come on, Barnes, who are you trying to fool here? You were head over heels for Evelyn."

Bucky huffed and shook his head. Even now, he still didn't want to admit to the very likely possibility that he had indeed felt something other than hatred for Steve's sister. It all seemed too absurd anyway. He and Evelyn had spent years fighting each other over the littlest of things. Calling each other names, driving each other crazy, embarrassing each other in front of everyone they knew... all while still maintaining the act of being 'friendly' in front of their families. To say now that the hatred had really been a facade would be an outright lie.

"I wasn't in love with Evelyn," stated Bucky with a click of his tongue, taking the cloth off of his face.

"Oh, so we are calling it love, then?" Natasha put her feet up on the chair opposite her.

"What? No, that's not what I... Look, I put up with Evelyn for Steve's sake. He was a skinny kid back then, and honestly, he wouldn't have made it without the both of us holding his hand. But where I tried to help Steve make his own way, Evelyn just kept him close to keep an eye out on him. Believe me; she was nothing but a royal pain in my ass."

"And yet, you still cared."

"Oh, for crying out loud."

Bucky sank further into his pillow, dragging his hand over his face. Of all the people to be having a discussion with, it had to be the expert in interrogation tactics. Why couldn't it have been Sam? He could handle Falcon. He was annoying as hell, but Bucky could deal with annoying. Natasha Romanoff was another matter entirely. She could blindside him over and over again, and he would still end up doubting himself instead of her.

"Let me ask you this, Barnes; while looking out for Steve, you also looked out for his sister, correct?"

"Only because she got a mouth on her. And she was impulsive. She had a tendency to stir up things in the neighborhood."

"Okay, so you made sure she didn't cross the line, right?"

"Right."

"And what did you do when she did? Did you drop her stubborn ass, or did you still help out?"

"I... I guess I still helped out. But again, that was for Steve's sake."

Widow licked her lips slowly. Bucky knew that look she gave him all too well. She was reading him, trying to seize him up. He did something similar, a little trick he picked up from when he was still a teen and just learning how to box. Read and anticipate an opponent's movements. Be one step ahead to minimize your chances of losing in a fight.
But Natasha's look was different. It was like she was trying to peer right through him to see what was in his very soul. In his heart, even. But Bucky didn't even know that himself. 
She then held up Evelyn's journal. Bucky stared at the book with bated breath. Was she planning on reading it herself? No, he couldn't let her. Evelyn had left that thing to him and no one else.