Leaving London

Chapter Twenty

"Sure." I mutter, pushing the coins into my pocket as I throw on a cardigan and slam out of the house. I stick to the back route, pressing myself into the foliage at the side of the road whenever I hear a car approaching. Mia only lives five minutes from here, and I want to avoid running into her at any cost, even if I look like I'm trying to play hide and seek with myself in a hedge. I reach the corner shop in a record time of two minutes, and pick up the first loaf I find. Some sort of wholegrain nasty looking stuff sprinkled with seeds, which I'm sure nobody in my family likes, but oh well, because it's saved me five minutes from traipsing to the back of the store and rummaging through the shelves to find some white bread.

I scarper back up to the house, the loaf swinging happily in my hand, but as soon as I've clicked the door closed behind me, I feel that overwhelming urge to check my phone and try to deal with the current situation. I mean, it's better to face it now, right? To nip it in the bud? I've always hated that phrase. Nip it in the bud. It connotes that you're killing an innocent flower before it's managed to flourish and bloom to its full potential of beauty, sweet nectar and heavenly petals...and why would you do that to something of such raw tranquillity? And what if...

Anyway, I'm wandering off the point here. I should seriously just take the responsibility of my actions into my own hands, and do something...right now.

I drop off the bread on the kitchen table, and edge my way up to my room. My palms shivering nervously, I wipe them on my duvet before shakily powering on my new phone and waiting for the messages to appear on my screen. Funnily enough, they're already there when my device has switched on. Well, it's not really that funny to be perfectly honest. It's basically just a group of hate messages that clutter up my inbox. A few from family wishing me a merry Christmas, which I speedily tap out responses too...and then one from Olli, saying that we need to talk. And next, a bunch of messages from Lara:

'Mia got it out of me. She deserved to know. Sorry Fearne, but it wasn't fair on her'

'She's pretty angry, well done. She's freaked out on me too now for not telling her earlier. Congrats Fearne you've managed to ruin our friendship!'

'Ugh' I take a deep breath, my eyes clouding up.

'Look, Lara. I never meant for this to happen. Just tell Mia the truth and she'll see that you've done nothing wrong. Sorry this has inflicted on you, I just want us to be friends?' I tap out, my fingers moving at a hundred miles an hour. And then, I click on Mia's messages. She's sent me several, all ranging from angry to upset to forgiving.

'Why the bloody hell would you even do this to me? Cheating with my boyfriend? Making him break up with me? God damn you Fearne I never want to have to look at you again.'

'Go back to where you came from, I've had enough. I always suspected something was going on with you and Olli, how long has it been, hm? You been seeing him behind my back for a fortnight? A month?'

'I'm sorry I know this is mainly Olli's fault, but how could you?'

'Ignoring me huh? Wow. Mature. What a great friend'

I suck in my breath, biting down on my lip hard. There's no point in me even trying to send her a message back which will be able to sum up how sorry I am, that it was an honest mistake, and that all I want is forgiveness. My finger finds its way to the green call symbol before my brain can even register the action. I swear, fumbling around to try and exit the call once I realise what I've done, but suddenly the dialling stops and a voice replaces the silence.

"Fearne? Finally..." A voice mutters sarcastically. I can almost sense her shaking her head or rolling her eyes dramatically.

"Um, Mia. We need to talk." I sniff hesitantly, my voice swallowed up in the almost painful pause following suite.