Mama Tiger

Chapter 8.

Jude bit his lip and nodded. "Okay."

"So, you're gonna go to school?"

Before he could reply, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Brandon called.

He left the kitchen and answered the door. Seconds later, Stef heard him yell, "Mom! Grandma's here!" He returned to the kitchen, with Sharon following behind.

"Grandma?" Jude cried. He left Stef's side and ran into Sharon's arms.

"There's my sweetie," Sharon gushed, kissing Jude's face all over. She'd taken a liking to the boy from the moment she met him.

"Mom?" Stef asked. "I didn't know you were coming today."

Sharon let go of her grandson and took her daughter in her arms. "I thought you girls could use some moral support today. I hope I haven't overstepped my boundaries."

"Not at all," Lena promised, coming over to join in the hug. "We could really use you around here."

Stef clung to her mother, who was hugging her tight, stroking her hair. It felt so good to be in her mom's arms; she felt safe and secure, as if nothing could hurt her. "I'm glad you're here," she told her.

"I'll always be here, as long as you need me," her mother replied, kissing her cheek.

"It's about time for you guys to head out," Lena finally told the kids. "Come give mom love before you go."

The kids lined up, and one by one came to hug and kiss Stef, and wish her luck. Then, they were out the door.

"This is something you don't hear around here every day," Sharon commented, following Stef into the house. "Silence."

"It's too quiet," Stef replied. Staying home during the day, she discovered she missed the noise of her family; she thrived on the chaos. Lena had gone to finish the day at work after the consultation, so she and Sharon had returned to an empty house.

Sharon sat down on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her. "Come here, sweetheart. Sit with me."

Stef took a seat beside her mother, and rested her head on her shoulder.

"So, Wednesday," Sharon sighed, lovingly stroking her daughter's arm. "That's soon."

Stef nodded. Wednesday morning, at seven in the morning, she would have her mastectomy. It was only two days away.

"I was surprised that you opted not to get a reconstruction," her mother admitted.

Stef shrugged; she'd spent part of her meeting with the surgeon studying photos of breast reconstructions and discussing her own options. "If I get a reconstruction, it will mean more surgery, and a longer healing time," she explained. "I just want to get back to the kids as soon as possible."

Sharon nodded. "I guess that's understandable. And the option is always open if you ever change your mind." She pressed a kiss to Stef's forehead. "Really, sweetie. How are you doing?"

Looking into her mother's eyes, Stef felt as if she had no secrets. Her eyes welled with tears, and they streamed down her cheeks. She felt as if she were a storm clouding waiting to burst; her tears had been building up inside her all morning.

"Honey," Sharon breathed, pulling her closer.

"Honestly, I'm scared to death," Stef sobbed, her body shaking. "I'm scared something will happen during surgery, or they won't get all the cancer. I don't want to die, mom. I just want to see my babies grow up."

"And you will," Sharon assured her. "Honey, I know the surgery sounds scary, but it's going to save your life."

"Why is this happening to me, Mommy?" Stef asked, trying to make sense of it all. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"I don't know why this is happening to you, baby," her mother whispered, stroking her back, burying her nose in her hair. "But you didn't do anything to deserve it. You're an amazing mother and wife, and a beautiful daughter. Things like this just don't make sense. They're not for us to understand."

Stef hiccuped, choking on her tears. "I can't help but think of the twins' birth mom," she breathed. "She's a horrible person, who constantly abuses her body. Nothing ever happens to her. Why the hell does a drug addict like her get to be healthy, but I get sick? It isn't fair!"

"Honey, you're breaking my heart," Sharon sniffled. "Come here." She guided her daughter closer, so her legs rested across her lap, holding her as if she were a small child. "Illness doesn't discriminate, baby. I know it isn't fair. This is just the hand you were dealt. But you're so strong... I don't have a doubt in my mind that you're going to be okay."

"I'm trying to be strong," Stef admitted. "But it's so hard. I've been thinking about Callie, trying to handle it like I thought she would. But she's falling apart. She's not being strong for me anymore, mom."

"Callie is just a young girl," her mother told her. "That's a lot to expect from a kid, to keep you going through this. She's scared too. You're her mother, and she loves and needs you."

"I know," Stef wept. "But what am I supposed to do?"

Sharon paused, thinking over her answer. "Don't try to be strong like Callie, honey. Be strong for Callie, and Lena and the other kids. You're not just fighting for yourself. You're fighting for them." She kissed Stef, hugging her to her chest. "Why don't you lay down for a while, hon? Rest, and I'll make you some lunch."

Stef nodded, weak from crying so hard, and rested her head on a throw pillow. Sharon took her shoes and socks off for her, then took a blanket from the back of the sofa, and draped it over her. "There. Close your eyes. I'll be right in the next room."