i broke the silence for you

xi. adagietto

     “rehersal will be canceled today, along with next week’s tchaikovsky concert.” sergei paused, and added what eddy had been dreading for the entirety of the conversation. “i think we’ll have to stop performing altogether.”

     “wait, sergei, look,” brett cut in. “we’re all induviduals. it’s not like everyone in russia is with the bombing. and our audiences love us, right? why do they keep coming to our concerts? because they love our music. we’re all different ages and ethnicities, yet that doesn’t let them discriminate music.”

     “those are wise words, but. . .” sergei paused. eddy could hear him sigh. “i think i’ll have to resign.”

     “wait—no! look, we’ll find a way,” eddy said quickly. “we’ve done this for twenty years. and this is the best orchestra i’ve ever been in. we have so many different skill sets and age groups. if we stopped, i don’t think i would be able to find any of that anywhere else.”

     “it’s alright. you both are very talented. i’m sure other orchestras are willing to play with you.”

     the small beep ended the call without warning. eddy sat still, shock and despair keeping him from forming any sort of verbal response.

     “you okay?” brett whispered, stroking eddy’s arm.

     “yeah, it’s just—i don’t know what to do when i’m not part of an orchestra anymore. it was such a big part of my life,” eddy responded.

     “we’ll find a way,” brett hummed, his voice somehow secure. “we’ll find a way.”

~ ♪ ~

     the two were in the middle of praciticing the piece that they were supposed to perform next week, not knowing what to do. eddy found it odd how he sometimes wished that he wasn’t in an orchestra; the constant need to be perfect and to practice enough was often overwhelming. but now, with a seven-day weekend, he got bored easily.

     well, brett keeps me occupied.

     there was a knock on the door which stopped their playing. eddy got off the piano bench and headed to the door. brett followed.

     when he opened it, there was a group of about five or so people crowded on the front porch. eddy opened the door all the way, recognizing the concertmaster, two cellists, a flautist, and a violinist. “hey, naomi,” eddy greeted the concertmaster. naomi nodded and shook his hand out of habit.

     “sergei told us what happened,” naomi said quietly.

     eddy responded with a solemn nod. brett walked up and clutched his hand. “do you know what’s going to happen?”

     “not to us, but we’ve heard that the sydney symphony’s looking for a soloist,” naomi answered. “i think they’d be happy to accept you.”

      “sydney? but that’s, like, five hundred miles away,” brett said. he cast a worried look at eddy. “i don’t think i have the money, either.”

     “it’s alright,” eddy cut in before naomi could respond. “we can busk. teach music. attend music festivals.”

     “brett, this is a huge opportunity. you should take it before someone else gets it,” naomi protested.

     “what about eddy?” brett asked.

     naomi didn’t respond. the heavy silence filled the air like a thick cloud of fog.

     “i—i know this is a good opportunity, but. . .” brett paused. “i think i have an opportunity for something a lot more rare and more important. thank you.” he stepped back and closed the door gently.

     “brett—” eddy held out his arms and pulled brett into an embrace.

     “i don’t want to leave you,” brett whispered.

     “i know, bretty. and you don’t have to,” eddy responded quietly.

     “i do!” brett opposed. “i—i do have the money, but—if i spend it on a plane ticket—it’d take forever to get it all again. that’s not what i came here for.”

     eddy rubbed his back and breathed deeply. he could feel brett’s sorrow. and something that gave him so much joy should have that same amount of joy returned. “you miss your family?”

     “yeah,” brett sniffed. “my mum did so much for me. i never noticed how much she really meant to me until i came here. it’s been almost a year since i’ve seen her. she probably thinks that i forgot about her.”

     “brett, there’s no way that she thinks that. if i left you, i would definitely remember you,” eddy reassured. “where does she live?”

     brett hesitated before answering. “sydney.”

     “then you can get a job with the sydney symphony and visit her as well,” eddy suggested.

     brett instantly pulled himself out of eddy’s arms. “no! i’m not leaving you!” he cried.

     “i’ll pay for the plane tickets!” eddy offered quickly, panicked from brett’s outburst. “i’ll come with you.”

     “no. you don’t have to do that. please don’t waste your money for me.” brett turned away, bowed his head, and crossed his arms.

     “i’m not wasting money for you,” eddy said. “money really has no value. i’d get rid of everything i own to be with you.”

     brett didn’t speak for a while. “okay.”

     “really?” eddy took a step forward in anticipation.

     “yes.” brett looked up. “you’re amazing, eddy. you really are.”

      brett took a step forward and slung his arms around eddy’s neck, the small crystals of tears hanging on the edge of his eyelashes. the warmth of the shorter violinist’s breath slowly consumed eddy and he began to sweat, the distance from their faces alarming him. his hands shook as he pulled brett’s body closer to his.

     eddy really was the kind of person to make the first move.