Do You Trust Me? // Bucky Barnes

29

As she curled into a ball in the bed set up for her arrival, she wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to hold him close and to have him hold her tight. She wanted the feel of his lips against her hair and the comfort of his soft snores. She wanted to feel safe and she let herself give in to the pull of longing. She let herself cry.

"Hall?" Sam's voice was muffled as she shuffled the sheets she had pulled over her head and glanced at him in the doorway.

He looked torn and uncomfortable, so unlike the sure footed man who had taken the torch as Captain America after Steve stepped down, and she knew her eyes were red and puffy from ugly crying beneath the comforter.

"Thought maybe you'd need this... you know... all things considered?" He held a phone towards her as she jumped to her feet, pushing the covers aside and racing to take his offering.

She glanced down at the screen, a small sob slipping from between her lips as she realised what he'd meant, and she pulled the phone to her ear immediately. As she turned her back to Sam she felt him slip out of the doorway and heard the click of the door closing behind her.

"Bucky?"

"Hey, дорогой." His voice was like a gentle caress as she closed her eyes and breathed in the comfort of that sound. When a small cry formed in her throat, Bucky soothed her. "No, baby. Don't cry. Don't cry when I'm not there to hold you." His voice was tight and strained, like he was holding back his own tears. "I can come, baby. I can be there by morning."

"No." She crawled into the bed, Bucky cradled to her ear, and pulled the comforter back over herself. "No, Bucky. I'm fine. I'm okay... I just... I just miss you."

He sighed and she heard the groan of Talia's screen door. She wanted to be stepping out onto the porch with him. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms and pulled close to his chest as they watched the stars and learned everything about each other.

"I miss you too, Sweetheart. So Fucking much."

She closed her eyes and listened to him breathing.

"Tell me something new, please?" This was a game they had played most nights in the false little bubble of normality they had been hiding away in, and she craved the way it made her feel human again. "Anything."

His chuckle was low and easy and she smiled to herself at the sound.

"When I first met Steve, I was jealous of him." He said it so simply that it startled her slightly. He'd known Steve since they were children. She knew Steve Rogers was a sickly child with a  dad who died in the first war and a mom who got sick shortly after.

"You were?"

"Yeah." She could hear his smile in his voice. "He didn't seem to be afraid of anything. Even when he was this scraggly little thing who couldn't fight for shit."

She giggled breathily and another little cry lodged in her throat. "And you were?"

"Still am, Princess. All the time." He spoke soothingly, like he was there stroking her hair and rocking her through the panic that was washing through her. "But you know what I learned from Steve?"

"No," she whispered as she wiped her cheeks.

"Fear is only a bad thing when you let it control you, Ava." He sighed and she pictured him closing his eyes as he raised his face to the sky. "You are so fucking brave and you are so strong, okay? Don't let it control you. I'm with you every single step of the way, okay? And I will be here when you get home."

When silence settled between them and she heard the creaking door once again, she knew she needed to say goodnight. Tomorrow night would drain her, and she and Sam needed to strategise in the morning.

"Bucky?"

"Yeah, дорогой?"

"I'm really glad I met you."

He laughed again and this time she let her smile form fully. "Me too, baby. Get some sleep and I'll see you soon."

"Will you - can... Never mind."

"Don't let it control you, Ava." He repeated his words as she chewed her lip and stared at the moon through the gap in the blinds.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Always, Ava."

***

Sam

When he crept into her room at 2am, Ava was asleep with the phone tucked beside her, the line still open.

He sighed as he picked it up and brought it to his ear, and when he closed the door behind him as he exited he spoke. "I'll keep her safe, Buck. Promise."

"You better, Sam. She's..."

"I know. Get some rest, man. We'll call when it's done."