Innocent Sinner

ᴄʜᴀᴩᴛᴇʀ 25_ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴀy

And oh, the silence it followed wasn't helping either.

"You...what?"

Jungkook froze. It was really not over yet, was it?

"You heard right, mom."

"Jungkook, are you...sure about that? L-like..how- how long has it been since you, um, got to know?" She was fumbling and stuttering, the shock being too much for her to comprehend.

"Since middle school, mom."

"Oh."

There was a wild minute of silence. Literally not a single word was exchanged within that minute and all the two did was hold their phones close to their ears and take in deep breaths. Jungkook had his teary eyes shut, not patient enough to wait for his mom to speak up as he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry."

A long sigh was heard from the other end, the mother who felt being lied to this whole time was shaken up truly.
"Why are you sorry..." She whispered.

Jungkook could finally feel the tears rushing down his cheeks, not knowing why he felt so relieved yet so upset. He tried not to make any sound that would indicate his crying state.

"I'll come to you." She spoke soon after, as if still contemplating.
"I'll take the next flight to Korea so we can have a better conversation, alright?" Her tone was monotonous, somewhat disappointed even.

"Okay, mom."

Jungkook completely broke down the moment the call ended. He threw the phone to an abandoned side and frustratingly held his face in his hands. He was so fucking glad he told her. So fucking mad at himself for not letting her know earlier. Maybe, if she had been made aware of the truth way before, she wouldn't have sounded so surprised, so confused and so upset.

His cries only got stronger and stronger as he visualised his mother coming over any day. What are they going to even talk about? How will they get through this? This had to end well, right?

His breathing quickened, the worries taking over him again. He could feel his mother's sheer disappointment in him as he fell in deeper into his thoughts. He grabbed a fistful of his beautifully done hair in a harsh grip, not being able to think anymore.

He clutched onto his jeans, palms growing more and more sweaty. The trail of his thoughts made him a lot more paranoid than he already was. As if his head was blocked due to the excessive thinking, he felt suffocated. Not a good feeling at all.

Oh no, what was happening?

He quickly got up from his spot and made anxious steps towards the kitchen. He poured himself a cool glass of water, trying his very best to think positively. How could he simply assume his mom was against it? She was possibly just thinking over it. No need to worry, yeah.

Yes, the boy tried to manipulate his mind with those thoughts but it knew better. Another set of fresh tears ran down his cheeks, too afraid of how he would be perceived from this day. He couldn't find himself breathing or even standing well when he dropped his hands to the kitchen counter, too tired of it all.

He was not okay. So not okay.

He ran over to the couch and found his phone at a corner. He quickly picked it up, hastily searching for a particular contact that he found with ease. His heartbeat had gone ecstatic by now and all he needed was a certain someone to be by his side and tell him it was going to be alright.