You're My Sun - Soukoku

Chapter Seventeen

"Um, well, you see, Akutagawa and I, well, we're dating now!" He blurts out. I look at them, and then let out a little chuckle. "Hey, what's so funny?!" Atsushi asks.

"Nothing, just I've known for a while, I'm surprised it took you guys this long to get together." I laugh. They both turn beet red.

"We have to go now..." Akutagawa mumbles.

"Sure, sure." I wave them away.

"Get better soon!" Atsushi calls as they leave the room.

I lie there for a minute, staring at the ceiling. I'm just starting to doze off when the door flies open. I sigh and open my eyes. Who is it now? Kunikida marches into the room, followed by Ranpo, Kenji, and Yosano.

"DAZAI!!" Kunikida yells.

"Jesus, Kunikida, this is a hospital, calm down!" Yosano smacks him on the head.

Kenji rushes up to the side of my bed. "I'm glad you're ok, Dazai!" He beams at me.

"This is a lot." Yosano gestures to all of the equipment. "I could just heal you up, you know." She grins at me.

"Yeah, I'm ok, thank you." I shudder.

Kunikida marches up to my bed. "Dazai, why on earth would you do all this to yourself?" He whisper shouts at me.

I shrug. "I'm suicidal. You know that."

"Yes, but you've never gone this far before!" Kunikida looks mad and a little scared.

I pat his hand, which is gripping the side of the bed. "I'm ok now, Kunikida." I give them all my best smile.

Ranpo steps forward. He has his glasses on. He squints at me for a minute before saying, "You should talk to him."

"I'm sorry, who?" Kunikida asks. We both ignore him.

"Are you sure?" I ask him. "Last time, I messed things up really bad..."

"You have to talk to him." Ranpo says. I nod.

"WHO???!!!" Kunikida screams. "WHAT IS GOING ON??!!"

Yosano smacks his head again. "KUNIKIDA, THIS IS A HOSPITAL, KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"YOU'RE ALSO YELLING!!!"

They break into a shouting match. Kenji pats my head.

"Well, looks like we have to go." Says Ranpo, pocketing his glasses. "See you, Dazai." He waves his hand and steps out of the room just as a nurse bursts in, telling Kunikida and Yosano to please exit the room, this is a hospital. They both grumble, but they exit the room, Kenji trailing after them.

It's nice to know that I have all these people who care about me, it makes me feel a little better. For once, the voice in my head has no comeback, and I doze off.

...

3 days later, I am in good health, and I'm released from the hospital with medication, and a firm warning for my friends to keep an eye on me. Kunikida drives me back to the agency.

When the car stops, he mutters, "I'm glad you're ok."

"Awww Kunikida, do you actually care about me? How sweet!" I mock.

"Shut up!" He yells, slapping my arm and getting out of the care angrily. He and Chuuya are so alike, in some ways. I get out after him, following him up the stairs. The agency is dark when I step inside.

"SURPRISE!!!" everyone yells as they pop out from behind various pieces of furniture. The lights flicker on, and there are party decorations strewn across the room, and food on the table. There is a large banner that looks like it has been either ripped or chewed that reads BETTER DAZAI!!! Everyone is wearing party hats, and someone puts one on my head.

"Awww, thanks, guys!" I say, actually happy for the first time in a while. They did all of this for me, it's really sweet actually. Enjoy it for now. This doesn't mean anything. I shake my head and step into the crowd of people, mingling and stuffing myself with food. As an flustered Poe frantically tries to explain to me that Karl ate half of the banner and it's actually supposed to say WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE BETTER DAZAI!!! I realize how much I love these people. They care about me, and I care about them too. I smile to myself.

The next three hours or so are a blur of food and cake and people, everyone hugging me and saying they're glad I'm ok. None of them know how much joy this is actually bringing me. When Yosano whips out a bottle of alcohol, I decide to get going. I say my goodbyes and slip out the door. The sun is just starting to set, and it's a pleasant walk in the warm air. But instead of heading home, I go in the opposite direction, closer to the edge of Yokohama.

I reach a residential area, all houses and apartment buildings. I reach a building and step into the lobby. I head up the stairs and stop in front of a door, my hand hovering over the doorbell.

It's not worth it, just go back he doesn't want to see you.

I swallow my doubts and push the button. 

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