Grief

Swarm

I shook my head. What about Shizu-chan? He could also be a reason for this.

I stuffed my hands back into my pockets, tilting my head towards the screen as my mind drifted back to the cemetery.

When exactly had the dissipating started to happen? Had Shizuo said something, had something different happened that triggered a change?

I had been laughing at Shizu-chan, things had been light, simple. He was embarrassed at his offerings, had told me to quit laughing- My mouth twitched into a smile at the memory. What else had he said..?

'I'll bring something better next time we come here...'

That had been the last thing he'd said before I noticed my hand. The small corner of my smile fell in an instant.

What was it specifically about that sentence, what was it about how Shizu-chan was feeling at that moment that made this form weak- Made me weak?

'We.'

Shizu-chan had said 'we,' My brows furrowed.

"Next time we..." I whispered hardly a sound that wisped through the air. At that moment, when we laughed and teased, Shizuo had claimed an 'us' a 'together.' And that's when my form weakened.

Poltergeists feed off the emotional turmoil of the person they are haunting. Specifically, their main source comes from a single one of those negative emotions. That is their lifeline, that is my lifeline.

Shizu-chan had smiled, laughed, and openly showed himself to me at that moment- And as jarring as it was to think, I had done the same. I could tell he cared, and I even admitted to myself that I did as well. How much, I wasn't certain, but I could tell we both did on some level.

The word felt as if it chimed against my ears, lashes fluttering wide as I stared vacantly at the screen.

Loneliness. Loneliness had been absent at that moment-

Thinking back, in the time that I had formed, it wasn't immediately after my death. Agonizingly slowly my spirit mystified into something, but I can still remember the time when I felt and looked as if I was nothing. Days settled onwards as Shizuo locked himself into isolation, while all I could do was watch.

It was as time passed that I grew more clear, able to manipulate more of Shizu-chan's apartment, able to actually be seen by him.

But if the key truly was loneliness, why only now had such a drastic change happened? Ever since I first appeared, there had been a steady incline in our relationship. Turning from bitter enemies stuck on old habits to something... almost domestic.

I blinked, scenes of watching t.v, wandering bookstores, and idle chatter as he walked to work flashing through my mind.

Had Shizuo still felt lonely until recently? What grand moment had turned his thoughts for the better?

My knee bobbed up and down, moving my foot in tandem as I connected every day, every scene that had led up to this point.

It had been a while since Shizuo first saw me, and before that, he had shut himself out from the world. Hardly answering calls from friends and family, wallowing as he'd spend hours staring at that damn ceiling of his.

To ward off loneliness you need company. But I've been with him for a while now, so why only now? Back then, had Shizu-chan still felt isolated, still grieving- I sucked in a gasp.

He's moving on.

He's moving forward.

He said, 'we.' The word repeated over and over in my head, teeth gnawing harder on my lip each time.